Welcome to both, but it would be far easier to get support if you start your own thread. It confuses things, otherwise.
Twnmum: I’m very sorry to hear you lost your husband two years ago and “to add insult to injury”you are now losing his insurance . That is not uncommon, sadly. When a spouse passes on, the remaining partner goes though stages of grief which cause us to act in ways that are often out of character. Have you had bereavement counselling? This could shed some light on why you gambled madly, like you did, causing further loss and pain.
For now, though, the first thing you need to do is STOP gambling.
Cut your losses and walk away. It is extremely difficult but if you are self excluded (banned) from all local casinos it is a start.
If you go in to the casino to ban, bring NO money with you and maybe take a friend along , you will not gamble.
We need to draw a line under our past actions and start anew.
The first and most difficult thing you need to realize is that you will never get your money back. Secondly, you need to accept that you are totally powerless over gambling. Thirdly, accept that it is a progressive illness that doesn’t ever go away.
Good luck with your first GA meeting.
I would suggest you stay back after the meeting and ask to speak to a member who will give you a few helpful tips and phone number that you can contact if you feel like gambling tomorrow.
Well done on coming here to GT.
Mr Exon,
You are very young. Your life will be far better off without gambling. It IS possible to stop and stay stopped one day at a time.
Keep posting.