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Bank holiday spent with my mum and sister at my sisters house. It was nice enough. It makes my mum happy to see the both of us and my sister loves to cook for us and she did well, roast beef and Yorkshire’s, although I couldn’t eat the Yorkshire’s.
When I got home my middle son came round and bought me brand new hard drive, very small, huge monitor and keyboard, as my pc now 9 years old and takes 10 mins to boot up. For nothing, and also loaded Plex onto my iPad. Has every series and film, better than Netflix and prime. He even got me the handmaids tale current series which is so hard to get. Delighted with that.
The days go by quickly, my bosses away at work so very busy but ok. This morning I cleared all the clutter from my front room, with paid help from my ex husband, but I participated and took it all to recycling. He told me my eldest son,s depression caused by cocaine and drug abuse, ie partying but that he had noticed he is a lot happier living here. He is and the antidepressants have helped him a lot. I have not seen him on drugs, hungover, yes but not out of it, and I recognise when someone has done drugs. His father is a social cocaine user and I think some of that may have rubbed off on him. Huge sense of achievement and cleansing clearing the clutter and we had a very fruitful morning. A lot more work to do still but the bulk of the crap has gone.
Then had my facial and massage which was Lovely. I have gratitude now for each day, that is what recovery has bought me. It is has bought me a contentment,
The only downer in the week was some enforcement person cAme round twice when my son was in who said he had never heard of me, I said not to do that again and that I will need to face whatever that was. The big debts are still there two years on quitting gambling. I remember steev saying how he scrimped to pay off his debts, but I won’t do that. My ex husband reminded me of how poor and homeless we always seemed to be when young. He was right, a pair of waifs we were with very little parental support or mentoring in life. I spoke this week and I often wonder if we had all the nurturing and support to develop as children where we would be now. A different place, that’s for sure. But I am Ok with where I am. A work in progress. Spent 55 quid this week on the computer game, a little out of hand. Over a couple of months it is a few hundred. Not a great dent in the scheme of things. I spend more on cigarettes but it is a habit I want to stop. As I hve said to vera, it does not make me want to gamble. Nothing does, cos it was that horrendous, the aftermath and what it does to us as human beings.