Exactly! When I try to post about my days, I wonder how I found time to gamble. Because gambling isn’t just the act of sitting on my ever-expanding butt, mindlessly pressing a germ-filled button. It is scrambling to find money, short-cutting all of the "mandatory" things (like work or laundry), post-gamble scrambling to cover up the money you borrowed and lost, and now can’t pay back. It’s calling bill collectors (or avoiding them), trying to decide if you will get evicted if you don’t pay your rent on time again, or lose your car because you haven’t made a payment in two months. It’s making up lies to your family and friends about where you have been, it’s spending hours in quiet desperation, wondering if today should be your last day on earth.
Now I find that the days aren’t long enough, there is so much to do! There is so much life to LIVE. I don’t know whether positive things started happening after I stopped gambling, or whether I didn’t allow anything positive to happen while I was gambling. But I am in love with my life right now. Sure, things could be better, but they are still good enough. The "better" part is what I strive for, while not losing sight of the fact that I need to live in the present. I lost enough time to gambling, I don’t want to lose any more to regret. Glad to see that your 17 days have arrived, you really are doing great (and sorry for not posting more to you earlier, just too busy!lol).
