Slept for long periods today and awoke at 7.30pm. TV not working again. Pete had a go because he had asked me to do the washing up by Five pm and I clearly fell asleep. Was huffing and puffing to himself. Pete cooked roast chicken so just finished that, well tried to finish it but can’t eat huge amounts. GA tells us to have a programme but I find with the depression and long periods asleep it is difficult to have a programme, I am finding the open groups and chats with idi helpful but no one on the ten pm group tonight. I am not looking for advice incidentally, on the contrary, this is my journal and is about how I feel at this stage of the recovery journey. Most of the advice I get anyway I have already done, particularly the financial stuff, so no one to advise on that please as I have been there and done it, and that particular situation is as bad as it gets. A GA lady I met this week called me this evening and we had a nice chat. When you speak to people and hear about their lives and situations that drove them to gamble you really get that some people are given more in life than they can cope with either with themselves or Immediate family, and I really wonder sometimes about the fairness of that. I would not sign up for the human journey again, I don’t think. It is a rough one. Well hit seventy days tomorrow or ten weeks. Has my life improved. Sadly it has not. I am one of those where it gets worse, before it gets better, if it ever will. Five and a half years to get into this messso cannot expect miracles, or maybe I should expect miracles?
