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#24489
sam.sam
Участник

Today,Yesterday,The day before, all I had was this this feeling of not being worth-ed, and that I am not going to get rid of this feelings that follows me every step of the life.
At the back of my mind so many activities, running like a film on TV . We switch the TV on and we are in the middle of a film, started long ago. For unknown reason I do not change the channel, continue watching. I have seen this movie few times before, but some part of the conversation between the characters, sounds that I have not heard that before, or may be I was not interested in hearing that before.
I feel it is the same with my memories that has always been acting at the back of my mind, and me giving them a little attention, if any at all. But now, being in recovery, knowing that gambling was a way to escape and forgetting those memories, feelings, that we have, when seeing them, or thinking about them, makes me feel I have to spend some times, watching that movie from the beginning to the end and with more presence of my mind. And also getting help to deal with them.
In this movie I am the main character, so I have to pay attention to what is happening to me and how I am reacting in any given situation.
Today is another day that I have to find some thing to make me feel better. not gambling is the first thing and focusing in my recovery at the same time. I feel I have come a long way and I found a good source of information in here and a family. An understanding family.
Thank you all. Have a good journey. One day at a time.