Thanks kin for sharing I have read those many moons ago when I was in my early recovery days. I haven’t read any AA literature in along time though. I was more into NA over the last 7 years as I met more people my age in those groups. I’m branching out though trying new recovery tools and programs now though. The book and stepwork I’m doing now are pretty awesome and they follow alot of the general AA principles and values just it has more of my culture and spirtual practices involved which is what I needed. The one I’m doing is called the red road to wellbriety it focuses alot on the medicine wheels methods of healing. It’s been talking alot about the residential school stuff in the last few chapters which have brought up alot of painful stuff for me but I needed to address those things more and get a better understanding of why I am the way I am. Intergenerational trauma is huge where I come from so it was good that the creator brought this stepwork into my life at the right time. Because I’m mostly white I struggled with allowing myself to actually do these steps I felt like I didn’t have the right to. But I grew up in an all native family on reserves the only thing I no is the beliefs and culture I was brought up with. I was a repercussion from those traumas inflicted on my family I’m part of that generational bs that happened so I no that I have every right to practice those steps because ive lived through all of what it talks about. That’s how brainwashed society has made people like me though that just because I’m not brown I felt that I didn’t have any rights. I was always someone that felt stuck in the middle and didn’t no where I belonged. Years ago I moved onto a reserve that was not my families band but my exs family. I was running one day and someone stopped and told me I didn’t belong there. I sat own on the ground and sobbed because my entire life I felt like that. I wasn’t dark enough to be accepted by my own culture alot of the time and living in general society I felt uncomfortable because I couldn’t practice my culture without people making fun of me smudging or doing my cultural practices. I’ve always felt really lost. But for the first time I’m allowing myself to finally feel this shit and doing these steps is teaching me that I’m accepted. I just have to be an example and teach others the lessons and values that I’m learning to.
