- Toto téma obsahuje celkem 60 odpovědí. Do diskuze (12 diskutujících) se naposledy zapojil uživatel Emma8 a poslední změna proběhla před 5 roky a 4 měsíci.
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16 března 2019 v 9:13 am #50147Emma8Účastník
Hi everyone.
This is my first time visit Gambling Therapy and the first time I’ve told anyone other than my partner about my problem.
He thinks it’s fixed now, so did I.
I will empty my bank account gambling, hit rock bottom with fear of not being able to pay bills and loan payments (loans used for gambling) and then shake myself off and decide that this can’t happen again. I’ll be able to stay away for a few days or a few weeks but then I think „oh just £20, maybe I’ll win back all the money I’ve spent after all“. At one point I managed to stop for several months and my finances were looking a lot better, but then I fell back down the same hole.
I’m so glad to have found this platform. I’m going to take the advice I’ve seen and put all the blocks on my devices. The silver lining (if you can call it that) is that I’ve self-excluded from so many different casinos now that it is harder and harder for me to find a new one that will work.
Hopefully talking to other people in the same boat as I am will help me.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
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16 března 2019 v 12:50 pm #50148velvetModerátor
Hello Emma and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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16 března 2019 v 8:35 pm #50149CallmecrazyÚčastník
I do the same. Gamble only for 20 because maybe I’ll win back what I have spent and then everything will be okay.
It won’t.
The path usually takes me the same route. 20 doesn’t even give me bonus rounds. Then I deposit another 20 because I love bonus rounds. Who doesn’t? That doesn’t go well either. Before I know it I’m shoving down hundreds. Chasing. When I’m depleted financially and mentaly, exhausted and desperate, I deposit my last twenty and play the lowest bet possible. I don’t even know why at this point. Guess what? Bonus rounds! Amount of winnings from bonus rounds = 6,5 $.
It’s crazy! The machine had just takem my money, my sanity AND my soul.
I know we are to be blamed ourselves but the gambling industry is one huge big fraud. They’re greed and all they do is take in the most manipulative of ways. It’s time to not give them anything ANYMORE.
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16 března 2019 v 9:21 pm #50150IRockVXÚčastník
Hi Emma and CMC,
Thanks for posting. Might be worth exploring triggers and writing about your emotional states that are happening before you gamble … try to pinpoint the feeling states that are deeper underneath the urges … and write them out. They can be quite messy.
I’ve been doing this on this forum for about a week and it’s felt enormously healthy …
Because our triggers are part of the addiction, I don’t think it’s an unfair assumption to consider them as possible links of addiction themselves i.e. addiction to the triggers …
I find that thoughts and emotions tend to clump up in pairs of 2 or 3 and form circles/cycles of destruction within us … when they’re paired up they’re much more deadly than alone … example gambling depression alcohol … or depression anger and gambling …
I think writing about the tendency of negative emotions/thoughts and experiences to clump together and feed each other in a circle is worth diving into understanding and breaking down. I’ve found this very helpful as well.
I think ultimately we want to create our own positive spirals that come as a result of breaking down the negative ones that led to us gambling in the first place … We always seem to be moving in circles and spirals with these clumps of thoughts and feelings be they positive or negative …
A positive spiral would be … „i resisted urges longer“ „I didn’t gamble this week“ „I’m feeling confident“ „I wrote in my journal and interacted with other people who’ve quit more — I’m socializing more“ „I’m feeling happier“ „the urges are back, but I’m feeling better; I want to resist again, let me talk to someone who can help“ „I resisted the urges again“ „I didn’t gamble 2nd week“ „I’m feeling more confident and better emotionally even than last week. I feel confident“
Those clumps of thoughts emotions and experiences begin to spiral and create an „upward spiral“ … I think in some respect we have to learn to create upward spirals that chain many resources emotions and routines together — there’s no „one thing“ that overcomes all those negative spirals together … we need a chain of things working together generating momentum like an airplane before takeoff.
Much love and support <3
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17 března 2019 v 1:20 am #50151bruceyÚčastník
Hi Emma and welcome 🙂
You mentioned that you have self excluded from most online casinos. Have you registered with Gamstop?
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17 března 2019 v 2:47 pm #50152CallmecrazyÚčastník
Hi Rock, I know exactly what my triggers are.
1. Abuse and bullying
I live in an extremely abusive, toxic and corrupt country. I have been bullied at work to the point of almost being raped. At this point I had started a serious gambling binge to escape emotionally. I have since found a way to remove myself from the environment but I had to accept a lower ranking and a lower paying job which I’m still struggling to accept. I feel a deep rooted disgust for the system and cannot accept the unfairness of it all.
2. Debt, gambling losses and money issues
This is now my number one trigger. Due to number one I have fallen into number two.
3. The unfairness of life and being single For reasons beyond my understanding, I have been cursed with an inability to find a suitable partner. As a result I have all this repressed and built up feminity and sexuality that I have nowhere to release. I’m burning inside, yet there is no outlet for me. Sex for sex itself does not work. I ‚ve tried.
4. Boredom with work and the absence of challenges
5. Not having the patience to preservere for 5 yrs until I pay off my debts
6. Living a meaningless existence while deep down I’m so full of life and emotion
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17 března 2019 v 3:43 pm #50153Emma8Účastník
That’s exactly what happens, but then you get the buzz from winning £40 and think wow this is great! Forgetting that you’ve deposited £100 by this point. I love the comment below, positive spirals are the way to go I think 🙂
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17 března 2019 v 3:46 pm #50154Emma8Účastník
This is brilliant, thank you. The idea of positive spirals is something I’m really going to take on board.
I haven’t paid too much attention to my behavioural patterns before now, but I do often find myself reaching for the slots as soon as I have a comfortable amount of money in my account again. It’s a horrible self sabotage. Now I have enough to cover bills lets just gamble with £20 and win everything back, it’ll definitely work this time. It’s terrible!
This journal is obviously going to help a lot with this. I’ll add my first note today and continue from here.
Thanks again!
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17 března 2019 v 3:48 pm #50155Emma8Účastník
Hi there!
I haven’t yet, no. Am I right in saying that you have to pay for that and other blocks. I understand how ridiculous this sounds, but I have a huge block to paying for things like that. I am actually very bad at spending money, other than on gambling. It’s mad isn’t it?
The benefit will outweigh the cost though, I have no doubt!
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17 března 2019 v 3:57 pm #50156Emma8Účastník
I can’t offer solutions, but I can say that it is amazing that you are so aware of why you gamble. Debt, losses and money issues is a big one for me too. But I’m recognising that losing more to slots is never going to make me financially free or happy.
Often when one area of your life begins to improve, the others do too. Maybe you could focus on stepping away from gambling first which will help with money issues and then see what can happen around that as a knock on effect? 🙂
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17 března 2019 v 4:00 pm #50157Emma8Účastník
I am officially onto day two of being gambling free and I am feeling really motivated, mostly thanks to this forum!
Today has been a busy one, so in fairness I haven’t had a moment to think about it. The coming days are busy too and maybe that will be the trick to making sure I complete my first week!
Something that’s helping a lot is that I’ve just had a couple of promises of work from clients (I’m a freelancer) so that’s bringing me a lot of positivity and calming any worries about being able to pay upcoming bills.
I’ll make sure to check in again tomorrow!
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17 března 2019 v 4:15 pm #50158bruceyÚčastník
Hi Emma, signing up to Gamstop is completely free! It’s been an absolute lifesaver for me 🙂 It only takes 5 mins to fill in a form on their website, and believe me it‘s the single best thing you can do when your problem is with the online stuff!
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18 března 2019 v 7:04 am #50159IRockVXÚčastník
I know and empathize with how deep the pain goes with loss. It’s a stinging feeling that’s like a streak of black paint across your body and soul.
You are not the only person going through all 6 things you mentioned. You are not cursed.
Keep writing about these emotional internalized perspectives — write and write more. They have taproots and causaility that you discover from revisitng and rewritnig/expressing over time.
I think my fixation with health and seeking wisdom kept me alive in the darker years.
Much love and support — make today gamble free!
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18 března 2019 v 9:36 am #50160DuncSprávce
Hi Emma As Brucey has stated,, Gamstop is free. I think your getting Gamban & Gamstop confused.
Gamstop is UK’s national online self-exclusion scheme.
Gamban is Blocking software which costs £10 per device
Dunc
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18 března 2019 v 5:14 pm #50161Emma8Účastník
That’s great news, I’ll get it set up today then. Thank you 🙂
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18 března 2019 v 5:15 pm #50162Emma8Účastník
I must be, I did only look quickly the other day.
Thanks again!
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18 března 2019 v 5:17 pm #50163Emma8Účastník
Now on day three of no gambling. After a busy day I’ve now got a quiet evening. Turned my laptop on and I did feel myself starting to reach for the new tab to open a site but I came on here instead. This forum is already helping me a lot, clearly!
Already excited to be celebrating one week completed come Saturday. It will be such a big milestone for me 🙂
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19 března 2019 v 10:02 am #50164Emma8Účastník
I’m now on my fourth day and I’m feeling happy. I’m currently sat doing some work and later I’ll be spending time with family. The work means I’ll be able to send out an invoice on Friday, making me a tiny bit more comfortable financially. It will either go straight towards bills or a loan payments, but they’ll get paid and that’s what matters.
It hurts me to know how much damage I’ve done to myself and how much debt I’ve built up. It’s going to take me a long time to recover now. That’s when I used to think, I’ll gamble and see if I can win back some of my losses. I can rationalise now and know that gambling will only make things worse. Instead I need to accept that progress will be slow but as long as the debt total continues to go down instead of up, that means I’m doing well.
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20 března 2019 v 6:39 pm #50165Emma8Účastník
Getting very close to one full week of no gambling now and feeling very good about it. Keeping this journal is definitely helping. I think I might begin to track the things that I’m grateful for each day and the positives that are coming out of staying away from gambling. That will definitely help my motivation on tougher days in the future!
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20 března 2019 v 7:19 pm #50166CallmecrazyÚčastník
Good job! Keep up the good work. Another day, another dollar saved!
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21 března 2019 v 8:56 am #50167Emma8Účastník
I’m on day number six and I have just had an enquiry about some more work. That’ll keep me busy for the next day or two AND contribute to my bills.
One small win I have is that when I check my bank account now the short summary of transactions is no longer a list of £20 deposits. That always made me so sad to see. It is still there when I click on view more on my statement. Very excited for the day when I can check it and only see „normal“ transactions and now gambling damage!
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21 března 2019 v 8:57 am #50168PieÚčastník
Hey there Emma. Welcome to the forum. It’s a pretty welcome find isn’t it when you are in the thick of another relapse is gambling. I too have been here for just a couple of weeks and and on day 5 of no gambling.
As you stated, the moment of giving in a loading a small deposit online with the thought that maybe this time you’ll win back the losses that have been hurting so much is such a downhill spiral that I too have found myself in far too many times this past year.
Can you imagine how you are going to feel in 6 months time when you have succeed in staying on track, your finances have bounced back and your anxiety levels are way down allowing you to feel that natural kick of happiness not having gambling in your daily life? I think about that all the time at the moment and it motivates me to work hard here.
Keep counting the days. I’ve just started counselling with a problem gambling councillor. He has allowed his clients to anonymously write up on a whiteboard how many days since they last gambled. And seeing their numbers is huge motivation. I’ve started mine at home in private, and add each new day as I make it through.
You last few days updates are really positive. Keep up the good work, you’ve got this.
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21 března 2019 v 9:12 am #50169Emma8Účastník
Thank you so much for your comment.
I’m definitely finding this journal a huge help and knowing that there are others at a similar stage to myself is really encouraging. We’ll be able to celebrate here together at the 6 months mark!!
That moment will be such a relief. As I mentioned above I’m already seeing a difference in my bank account. It’s very small right now, but it’s still progress and that’s what matters 🙂
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21 března 2019 v 9:31 am #50170JesterRaceÚčastník
Hi Emma,
Welcome to the forum, your story is so similar to mine – on and off gambling, emptied bank account, hitting rock bottom, self-exclusions, loans due to gambling etc. Well done on taking the step to join up here and start a journal, looking forward to hearing your continued success!
I discovered this forum about 2.5 weeks ago, and have been gamble free since, that temptation to just deposit a 20 or 30 – „Just to chance my arm“ has been there alright, but we know that will always yield the same results as before, an emptied bank account and misery. However It is so nice to not see heaps and heaps of 20-30 shameful transactions on my account.
Keep it going, would love to continue reading of your success, Myself, yourself and Pie above will hit the 6 month milestone together.
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21 března 2019 v 9:38 am #50171JesterRaceÚčastník
callmecrazy, just weighing in here re: Bonus rounds – I’ve been there, that exact sceanario – it’s beyond soul destroying! If only that bonus round came on a hugher stake.
Another time the bonus round came at the last call. just as I emptied my entire bank account over a few frenzied hours, except it was a big win, covered all my losses and gave a huge profit too. Instead of being hungry and poor for a month now I’m very comfortable and can pay off chunks of my debts too! Great right? But then that voice says: „But…if that bonus round happens again soon…. you could triple this…“ – all winnings gone within 20 minutes, back to rock bottom and despairing.
The big wins on the bonus rounds are the absolute worst for hooking you back in because you know it’s possible, but ultimately, the machine always wins because of this.
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21 března 2019 v 9:22 pm #50172Emma8Účastník
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve received texts and emails from gambling sites in the last week alone. And they’re ALL sites I’ve self-excluded from. It’s mad!!
Thankfully an unsubscribe button is normally there and I can get rid of it as soon as it arrives but it’s frustrating all the same.
Hopefully they’ll soon stop. I don’t feel as tempted as I used to but it certainly isn’t helping!
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21 března 2019 v 9:27 pm #50173Emma8Účastník
Thank you so much for your comment!
As much as I’d rather none of us were in this situation, it’s really nice to know a couple of us are at a very similar stage. Having this support is really helping me, and we don’t even know each other!
Looking forward to checking in again tomorrow and following along with everyone elses stories too. It’s becoming a really nice habit to log in daily and acknowledge my progress 🙂
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23 března 2019 v 3:55 pm #50174Emma8Účastník
I have officially gone one entire week without gambling. That makes me so happy to say 🙂
It has been a busy seven days, so you could say it’s been „easy“ to do in some ways, but I know that without this forum and being able to journal I would have been far more likely to feel tempted to go onto a casino.
This seemed like a tough milestone when I started and I’ve done it, so it’s time to set myself my next goal. I’m really looking forward to hitting one full month and seeing impact it will have on my bank account and my mental health!!
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23 března 2019 v 4:12 pm #50175Emma8Účastník
This journal is helping me to recognise some self-sabotaging behaviours.
Now that I’m starting to feel good having not gambled in a week my brain is starting to lean towards „well things are going well so maybe if you just tried £20 you might win everything back again and wouldn’t that be great?!“.
This is so frustrating but also helpful. I know what to look out for now. I don’t want to ruin my positive run of seven days clear and I obviously don’t want to lose money so I won’t gamble. Going to do some reading instead I think. Personal development to help me grow instead of going backwards!
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23 března 2019 v 5:17 pm #50176NickÚčastník
Hi Emma, we will never win everything back and well done on recognising you do not want to lose your money, your doing great, one day at a time, moving on. Personal development sounds great 🙂
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23 března 2019 v 8:11 pm #50177CallmecrazyÚčastník
We made it a whole week, great job!! I hade a huge urge today, the biggest one so far. I was almost half way to depositing but then stopped myself. For half an hour I was thinking how life is pointless without gambling but then I decided to cook a meal and focused on that. Aftetwards I took a nap, woke up feeling different. The bottom line is, I’ve trained my brain into gambling and I need to retrain it. There is no way out of this self – destructing addiction without experiencing and overcoming some very bad moments. If, after I reteach my brain of different routines and patterns it still wants to self – destruct, so be it. At least I know I fought the fight, gave it my all.
On to a gamble free day 8 and hopefully a whole new week.
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24 března 2019 v 11:26 am #50178NickÚčastník
Hi Emma thanks for your post on my thread , yes i will be on day 50 tomorrow and i’m loving, like you say having money to spend on the things i need and want. It’s not easy and recovery never will be but my barriers are working . Keep moving on one day at a time and you will reap the benefits of not gambling . 🙂
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25 března 2019 v 8:49 am #50179Emma8Účastník
You’re making so much progress! It was never going to be easy, you don’t just switch from one behaviour to the other over night do you? I think getting through the first month will be the hardest. After that the habits start to shift and it’s more of a case of staying away from any potential temptations.
I love that you’re replacing temptations with other activities that help to make you feel better, it’s all a really positive cycle 🙂
Very excited for the next week, we are doing so well already!!
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25 března 2019 v 8:52 am #50180Emma8Účastník
That’s incredible! Now that I’m past one week I’m feeling good about being able to stay away from gambling. I know it’s only a short time but it does get a little easier with each day. Blocks are in place and I’m recognising the positive impact of removing it from my life is having. Just need to keep going!
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25 března 2019 v 8:55 am #50181Emma8Účastník
I’m on day 9 and I’m feeling really good. Full blocks are now in place so I can’t access casinos, even if I wanted to. I’m also getting into the habit of moving money to my savings account as soon as it arrives so that if I did get tempted to deposit I’d have to move money around. All these small hurdles definitely help! Looking forward to celebrating day 10 🙂
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26 března 2019 v 8:25 am #50182Emma8Účastník
I’m on day ten today and I’m feeling a bit flat. I don’t feel like I want to gamble but I’m not seeing the bounce back I was hoping for yet and so my motivation is collapsing a bit. I know it’s only been a short time since I last gambled, so I just need to give things a chance. I’m just very impatient. Maybe that was an issue that has caused me to go back to gambling in the past. Going to keep busy for the day and hopefully push through it.
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26 března 2019 v 8:46 am #50183JesterRaceÚčastník
Stay strong Emma , remember all the reasons to be free from gambling that inspired you to start this journal on days like today.
Having a difficult few days myself, today is my monthly salary day which is usually a huge trigger. I’m just remembering I had to sell my motorbike last month due to gambling debts , that gets rid of any urge.
have you read or listened to the audiobook of Alan Carrs easy way to stop gambling? it’s bloody marvelous for keeping the spirits up on tough days ! -
26 března 2019 v 8:55 am #50184Emma8Účastník
No, I hadn’t even realised he had written anything on the subject. Thank you so much, I’ll look later today!!
Money arriving in your account can be the hardest can’t it? All of a sudden you feel like you’re in a great place financially and the triggers begin. We just need to keep pushing through and acknowledge the importance of holding on to our money for ourselves instead of sending it off to the casino!
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26 března 2019 v 9:18 am #50185PieÚčastník
Hey Emma.
I have to second that audio book that jester mentioned above. I have just finished listening to it yesterday after my first full week of all self exclusions from access to online gambling as I try to pull myself through financially on the bones of my backside. I have found the book very helpful indeed and it keeps reminding me of the happiness and elation non gamblers feel with ease, and that it’s gambling that keeps me from feeling this as I so desire. So I am working bloody hard to keep focus and work towards that awesome feeling of knowing I too am now a non-gambler – that thought alone is very motivating indeed.
I think you have done bloody well to make it through this full week and I say congratulations. While many of us have a long way to go you have to allow yourself to acknowledge the progress that you do make. I hope that tomorrow you wake up with a different energy from today and that you feel that fire in your belly again knowing that you are on the path to being free from all this as I know you will continue to keep working hard at staying on track.
Ah jester, as I cringeingly try to claw my way back to keeping up with bills and having enough money for food again after my past relapse and huge losses, I remind myself of the sacrifice you have made with selling your motorbike to get yourself into a better position to fight back. I started my motorbike up over the weekend in my garage, after not being able to afford to ride it for over a year now, and I got a hell of a kick up the arse from my conscious to simply go without any xtras for a few months, tackle my overdraft as heavily I can and fight to hold onto my bike like mad. You have motivated me buddy and I have much respect for you. It might just be the shove I needed.
Keep writing Emma, it’s helpful for lots of us to read as we go through our own journeys. Here’s to a better day tomorrow. High fives from New Zealand
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26 března 2019 v 4:53 pm #50186Emma8Účastník
Thank you so much for sharing. I think that is one of the hardest things, feeling like I’m missing that high that gambling often brings. Realising and then remembering that there are so many more things to be excited about when I’m free from gambling is so important.
I really appreciate you both taking the time to message me, I’ll be sure to get that audio book now and have a listen to a little each day. That seems to be the best way for me to process things.
Thank you again! 🙂
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26 března 2019 v 8:09 pm #50187CallmecrazyÚčastník
I had some hard moments this Saturday. One was a moment of deep dark pain and depression, thinking and feeling life was plain worthless without gambling. I got through it by focusing on something else (cooking lunch) and sleeping it off. The truth is slots, or any other form of gambling for the matter, is not going to run away. If anything, it’s only going to get better, the machines are going to sing more, buzz more… I’m saying this because it’s a valuable thought to have when the going gets though. We don’t have to think in terms of forever which only adds to the stress and the feelings of down. We can set a goal : 6 months and then we’ll reassess how we feel about gambling. By then, things can and will change in our lives. We may come to enjoy the extra money in our accounts, the absence of post-gambling stress, perhaps a new job, a new hobby, a new partner… it could be anything. Or we may not even have a strong desire to gamble anymore. The imperative is that we stop with the gambling right now. Take a break. At the state we’re in we’re neither able to win anything nor truly enjoy the activity.
By no means am I advocating CGs can or should ever gamble, I’m saying setting small goals can get us far. It’s one day at a time. -
30 března 2019 v 3:40 pm #50189Emma8Účastník
Absolutely. I think we can make it more difficult for ourselves when we set huge goals. Focusing on the next small step, whether that’s a day, a week or a month is far more manageable. We’ll also get the satisfaction of achieving it sooner too. Here’s too the next week!
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30 března 2019 v 3:42 pm #50190Emma8Účastník
Of course, always happy to support others!
I’m going to look into the book soon. I’ve had a very busy week with work so I’ve been distracted from everything else. Even gambling, which can only be a positive thing!
I’ll make sure to share my thoughts when I finally get round to it 🙂
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30 března 2019 v 3:53 pm #50191Emma8Účastník
I’ve now managed to go two weeks gambling free!
If I’m totally honest it feels like longer. But I’m so happy I’ve made it this far. The blocks are definitely helping me. I’ve had two or three moments when I’ve tried to go to an online casino but the blocks have stopped me getting any further. I’ve noticed too much of a benefit in my bank account just yet but I need to be mindful that it’s only been 14 days. I imagine in another months time I’ll be feeling much better about my finances!
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30 března 2019 v 8:40 pm #50192CallmecrazyÚčastník
Good to see you posting. You had disappeared for a while and I was afraid you might have gone gambling. That’s me projecting because that’s what I would have probably done. Afterwards feeling too guilty and ashamed to come back.
Congrats on 2 weeks. One day at a time. 🙂
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3 dubna 2019 v 6:06 pm #50193Emma8Účastník
Thankfully it’s the opposite, I have been really busy with work and completely distracted from the thought of gambling! 🙂
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3 dubna 2019 v 6:08 pm #50194Emma8Účastník
Just wanted to check in to my journal today now that I’m about two and a half weeks into being gambling free.
I’m shattered tonight, but that’s thankfully down to a busy day of work. I think I mentioned before that I’m self employed and my income can vary a lot from one week to the next. This busy week will really help to repair some of the damage I’ve done to my bank account and I’m really looking forward to seeing the numbers going up for once.
I’ve still got a long way to go, but I’ve been too busy to even think about gambling, which feels wonderful to say.
I’ll check in again soon 🙂
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9 dubna 2019 v 9:15 am #50195Emma8Účastník
I’ve just realised that I’ve not been onto the forum in almost a week and I’ve not flown past the three week mark.
Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m not feeling the need to jump online every day. I haven’t had the want to gamble since I blocked myself from the online casino.
I have been worrying though. Work has been busier which means my account is looking a bit healthier now. Normally that’s my trigger to think „oh I have some money to spare, time to try and win all of my losses back“. I need to stay on top of things over the next couple of weeks and make sure I don’t start to slip back into old habits.
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9 dubna 2019 v 9:53 am #50196SteevÚčastník
It is good that you recognise this particular trigger. It was one that got to me too. I tried various things – some that worked and some that didn’t … (don’t try buying stuff with it that you don’t need – you only end up with clutter!!)
What worked was:
a) paying off debts – I had debts that I didn’t need to pay off (in that they were up to date and no penalties) but inertia meant that I ignored them and left money in my account. Then I gambled – had no money in my account and no money to pay the debts. Pay off your debts if you can (you save money in interest charges too!)
b) paying forward debts – I occasionally paid forward things like my mortgage. This meant that the money wasn’t in my account tempting me and I was incurring less interest again. This can be done with credit cards too (although to be honest I didn’t!)
c) Put the money in an account that can’t be easily accessed. If you really feel you don’t need money immediately you can lock it in an account which can’t be accessed for 1 year or more. It’s not fool-proof but if you can forget that it is there (in time that is possible) then, when you are stronger you can unlock it for something that you really need.
I hope these ideas help. Knowing your own triggers is part way to dealing with them. Have a strategy in place so that you don’t let yourself give in. I wish you well.
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11 dubna 2019 v 10:05 am #50197Emma8Účastník
That’s so funny, I was just about to start writing another post about this!
Work has been busy for me over the last couple of weeks (I freelance) and the site of money staying in my ***** for days at a time without it disappearing to a casino is really keeping me going. Beyond that, I’m comfortably paying my loan payments and I’m starting to look at overpaying. That has never been possible for me before!
I’ve only been gambling free for three and a bit weeks but I’m already seeing a huge change in my life and it’s incredible.
Also happy to report that I have a counselling session booked at noon today. It’s to talk about everything, not just the gambling, but it’s all connected isn’t it?
Feeling very very positive today 🙂
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23 dubna 2019 v 10:04 am #50199Emma8Účastník
I can’t believe I missed the one month mark! The last two weeks have been insanely busy and I completely forgot to check in and celebrate.
It’s a weird feeling. When I first joined gambling therapy I was struggling so much to stay away from gambling and now I often forget that it’s a thing.
I’m not naive. I know I’ll probably face some big hurdles in the future but for the moment I’m doing well and that makes me so happy 🙂
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23 dubna 2019 v 1:58 pm #50200Berta24449787Účastník
Hi Emma;
I was where you are two years ago. Went on holidays and there was no access for two weeks. Came home and was too busy catching up after the holidays to have time. Thought I had it licked so convinced myself i had it under control and I could gamble a bit here and there no problem. Problem. Once your brain starts to get that fix again- you know, the chemical release from the pleasure center, it wants to keep it coming. Keep up your guard and understand it’s like all other addictions. It only takes one slip and your falling again. I hope you dont succumb and you beat this. We all need to know that it can be done so we can look to our future with hope. Keep up the great work.
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6 května 2019 v 2:43 pm #50201Emma8Účastník
Oh I completely agree! Blocks are on at home so even if I was to try and gamble I wouldn’t be able to.
When I’m not at home the best approach I can take is to be open with my phone usage. I used to try and hide my screen as much as possible when I was gambling so I know that if I want to avoid relapsing I need to avoid any secretive use.
Otherwise, I just need to be vigilant and keep going.
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6 května 2019 v 2:45 pm #50202Emma8Účastník
Just to check in and share that I am feeling stronger each day. I’ve now been gambling free for almost two months and it feels amazing. My bank account is recovering too which is wonderful to see. Just need to keep going!
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12 května 2019 v 7:27 pm #50204Emma8Účastník
I love that outlook on things! Each bad habit is hole in the bucket that needs plugged and the fewer the holes the healthier my finances will be. It is taking me a while too because my income is quite low, but the progress is happening and it’s so exciting to see. I’m actually looking forward to things like christmas and other big events over the next year or so because I know I’ll be able to enjoy them without worrying about money. It’s such a nice feeling!
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12 května 2019 v 9:36 pm #50205TinaTurnerÚčastník
I appreciate all of you sharing your stories. It’s day 8 for me without gambling. I was tempted today and yesterday but so far so good. I look forward to not seeing withdrawals in my bank account and seeing the balances go down on my credit cards. These forums really do help. No GA meetings near me. I’ve been using the SMART Recovery workbook also along with these forums. Helps to know your triggers and to ride them through. My two addictions go together – smoking and gambling. I don’t smoke unless I’m gambling so I have two cravings at once. So, 8 days without a cigarette also.Will check out the Allen Carr book.
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28 května 2019 v 4:41 pm #50206Emma8Účastník
I’m so glad to hear that you’re finding other stories helpful. I was the exact same when I started. The longer you stay away from gambling the more progress you will see and the stronger you will feel 🙂
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1 června 2019 v 1:57 am #50207PieÚčastník
Bloody proud of you!!!! That is amazing progress Emma and I love reading that you are seeing your finances bounce back as time goes on. This inspires me to start again, lost the last of my money to a relapse 3 weeks ago, starting again today with day 1 *****.
Massive high fives from New Zealand, thanks for your positive story and your strength with sticking with it
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20 června 2019 v 8:59 am #50208Emma8Účastník
I just wanted to jump back into my journal to share a quick update and speak to anyone in the very early stages of their journey.
You’re at the stage where it feels impossible to get out of this deep dark hole. You feel stuck. It does get better.
For the first few days I found myself checking the forum every half an hour, desperate for someone to talk to and help me through the unbelievable urge to gamble again. It helped so much being able to read the stories of other people going through the exact same thing. Stick with it, these days are the most important!
Over the first couple of weeks I settled into a rhythm of checking up on myself every couple of hours. If I felt the need to gamble I paused and thought about it instead of jumping straight into the casino. I came into the forum. I occupied myself with other activities. I also kept an eye on my bank account as it (very slowly) started to look a little healthier. It started with having £20 sitting there and teaching myself not to gamble it away immediately and it grew from there.
Once the first month had past I realised that I was thinking about gambling less and less. On the days I did I came here, but most of the time I was able to change my direction of thought without too much effort.
Now, at three months gambling free, I don’t think about gambling very often at all. When I do, I immediately remind myself how much better I feel without it.
Today I have £500 in my savings account. I know it’s safe and it’s there for a real emergency. The thought of going to the shops doesn’t fill me with dread in case my card doesn’t work. When someone mentions going out I don’t have to work out my bank balance in my head based on the deposits that I know have still to be withdrawn.
It does get better. You do grow. Use the support around you and take things one day at a time.
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20 června 2019 v 9:59 am #50209SteevÚčastník
Good to get an update and congratulations on your 3 months gambling free.
Yes it does get better, the longer things go on and I think it is good for you to just check in here now and again, to remind yourself of where you have come from.
I am several years gambling free – but I know that it would take just one bet for me to go down the slippery slope – so keeping in touch with things on here does help me to remember my gambling past.
It’s great to hear from you and I hope you can keep posting now and again. -
26 června 2019 v 8:59 am #50210Emma8Účastník
Oh absolutely Steev! I think that this forum as just as important for me today as it was the day I found it. The urge to gamble is far less now, but I still receive promo from casinos and often have quiet days when you feel the thoughts start to return of „maybe just one bet“. I’m so grateful for this space and the strength that it gives me!
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