hi. it`s 5 weeks since i finished gambling adiction programm. how i feel? i feel crap! i`m not been playing mashines since 12 june. i`m ok with that. i`m doing well about not playing. but… i catched myself to continue to take a gamble in diferent way! with friendships. all or nothing is still with me! i know i ve got compulsive behouvier.
me and my ex-girlfriend split up. but we agreed to stay a friends. it wasn`t for long! i scruwd up! it was hard to see her with somebody else. now she don`t wanna be even friend with me! cos i took my gamble! i useed against her my gambling behouvier. i started manipulet with her, been hostile with her. cos i wannted see if she still ve got feelings towards me. now i can see yes she ve got feelings to me. she is angry about what i done. so i have to let it go. its end. but not for me. she is still in my mind. trying to forget her. but its not working. cant see at the moment how i can resolve, i mean how i can move on from this situation. its still hurts. and hurts badly! i try to stay calm. i didn`t txt her since monday, and i promise me not txt her anymore.
i can see now what i done. anybody would do the same in her shoes!
i feel like its somebody died( not for real died, just feel)! and i can`t believe it!
i hope it will not last long!!!