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#68390
velvet
Moderator

Hi DS
nThe nature of an addiction to gamble is that the gambler will always lose and the likelihood is that if your boyfriend keeps gambling, as he has been doing, he will experience more loss and therefore more mood swings. In my opinion, if you have more genuine worries, or concerns, than maybe his threats should be reported to the authorities but this has to be your decision.
nA compulsive gambler can learn to control his addiction – if it was not so, I would not be writing to you. Many gamblers feel they can just stop when it suits them but I have yet to hear of a compulsive gambler who has successfully learned to control his addiction without the right treatment.
nI always think it is good to hear from compulsive gamblers who have had the determination and courage to change their lives, so I offer these thoughts to you from a facilitator on this site, who learned to control his addiction many, many years ago.
n“If we could do it on our own, we wouldn’t be here in the first place. (Or in the shit in the first place!)
nIf we are climbing a mountain it isn’t cheating to use a rope”.
nIf your boyfriend is saying that he fears he will still be angry with you in the future then I suggest, it would be better for him to know where support is to be found. Maybe you could tell him that you sought help for yourself and let him know that there is masses of support for him. This site offers facilitated groups for gamblers who want to live in control of their lives; we have an excellent Helpline which is one-to-one and we have the forums where those who are in various stages of committing themselves to a gamble-free life share support. Perhaps he could find a local GA group where many gamblers have found recovery. There are also rehabs and dedicated addiction counsellors. This addiction is far better recognised nowadays which is great and support is anonymous.
nPlease keep posting and let me know how you are getting on. I am very concerned about the fact you feel threatened but I hope some of the above will help you and maybe your boyfriend.
nVelvet
n