I hope you are doing better. I feel like your story is similar to mine. Except that when I found out, I had to tell someone. I called a support group and the entire time my husband was screaming at me “what are you doing??? Stop!!” He didn’t want me to talk to anyone I suppose. I listened to
Dave K. tell me his story and his sisters story, and I didn’t really believe that I was in a situation like that, but it was actually much worse than I thought. I still think it’s much worked than he will ever admit.
I am impressed that you are tech savvy and can tell how much he gambled. I have only the joint bank account that he used in his most desperate times when he was out of loans and credit. I would see strange deposits and wonder what it was, and then I saw all of the ATM withdrawals on our banking app. That was my extent of being tech savvy. I downloaded our banks app to my phone and, wow. He was gambling his entire two weeks pay in one night. Borrowing that back from his Parents so I wouldn’t notice. He also took out loans from his 401K. I only know because of the bank account deposits.
When I confronted him he literally said it was all my fault.
I don’t think they can ever gamble just a little bit. That is like an alcoholic just taking one sip. They can’t, and shouldn’t.
I hope your situation is getting better. I confronted my husband one year ago, and I have struggled through his anger.
His blame. His shaming me for calling him out on what he did and basically addressing the truth. I literally would find myself blurting out to my friends that my husband had a gambling addiction. It was too hard to hide. Not to everyone but a few peole I respected. I think it helped me somewhat. I would stalk these support groups for a year before I ever posted. I had a life coach tell me I should just get a divorce. O didn’t think I could at the time. I am meeting with a divorce attorney soon. In fact my husband said he was done with me and would be meeting with one a couple of weeks ago. He is an attorney, so I’m a little scared of how I will end up. I don’t want to live with him. But I want my children with me.
I hope you can get your husband to admit he has a problem and actually stop gambling.
I don’t even know if that is something we are supposed to do or say. I guess they have to decide for themselves. But I have decided for myself and for my kids that we deserve better.
You deserve the best too. And being lied to is not the best for anyone. I hope you will let us know how you are doing.
All the Best!
