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Thank you so much for sharing some very private stuff about your life, it has had an impact on me, of the seriousness of this addiction or would you even call it illness? Our deepest darkest thoughts are not often shared and for you to share this with a fellow CG is generous. Suicide is very serious and factors leading up to that point are serious. My thoughts a few weeks back had an addition of a plan. I was mapping out in my head when, what and how. Stupid, stupid thoughts I know now but an indication of how I was feeling and not thinking clearly about the future as I felt I had none.

Your story shows me how desperate you had become, you have a way with words, perhaps write a book in the future?

How long have you been off the gambling now Geordie?

It’s day 43 for me today…

Something quite interesting has happened in the last few days, my partner has been going through his own mini crisis within a committee that he is chairman of. He is at the meeting and it is crunch time now. I’ve been supporting him in all ways and even got him to do some mindfulness mediation with me this morning to help lower his stress levels. This of course, has taken the focus on my own crisis, which still hangs round me neck. Definitly not the right time to spill thosE damit beans… in spite of my own situation, I was able to pull out and support him. I know he appreciates my support. I’m sad that he can’t talk about our own relationship and feelings like he has talked through this, over the last few days as he has shared with me the problem, thoughts and feelings about the matter.
Anyway, day 43 is beackoning me to start work, it is another glorious summers day of 25 deg here. Sorry to all you folks in the northern hemisphere…back later.