[f_is_for_freedom]

I discovered online video poker long time ago and very quickly discovered that I’m a compulsive gambler. It’s cost me a lot of money to finally come to conclusion that I cannot live like this anymore. I ended up with several maxed out credit cards and virtually no savings. I would survive from pay to pay. I have well paid job, I could easily save over $1000 (if not more) a month but I’ve chosen to spend it at online casino instead.
In March of 2012, I discovered Betfilter and installed it on my computer. I survived 2 months… and found a way to remove it (several ways actually). I continued to gamble until September when I put Betfilter back on. It’s been almost 4 months now and at the beginning I was fine. For last 3 weeks, I’ve been miserable. The urge to gamble gets stronger every day, I have trouble concentrating at work, and I’m restless at home. I mean it should get easier with time, shouldn’t it?
The cravings come and go; one hour I’m fine then I spend next couple hours contemplating how much work it would be to clean my computer of Betfilter again. I did make a small progress; it’s still on my computer after 4 months.
I absolutely have no problems with other ways of gambling. I will occasionally buy a lottery ticket. I’ve been to casino twice – lost 20 bucks and that was it. I however love video poker. Don’t ask me why. The rush I get from it… I could keep playing forever.
I do not want to really go back there. It feels good but I cannot afford it and I know I will never be able to control myself in a way that I set a limit as of much I can lose.
I tried that before and it did not work.
Could you please share your experience? How do you survive? Is it going to get better? Ever?

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