You are doing extremely well under the circumstances, you have had so much stress to deal with and you have been through huge things. Yet your recovery is staying strong. You do have those urges sometimes but you are not acting on them.. when you are a carer you also have to be really sure you are also caring for you enough, it is hard sometimes being so responsible for others all the time..
I just think you do such a good job.. sounds like the gym is a great hobby for you, i love your motivation, it almost makes me want to put some joggers on and go exercise.. i idid say almost right.. as i am such a procrastinator at times and can be lazy. I love it that you go do these things among all the other things you do..
Now, the missing something.. i think you already have looked before but what about some sort of group in your area.. is there any GA.. probably too far.. or some sort of group of something that interests you..
P