Hi MummyRichards, I have just caught up on your thread as you started it before I joined. Having read the whole thread you are an inspiration. GA, GMA, GT can old help us when WE want to actually get better. It won’t work for those who do not want to get better. 153 days is amazing, just over twice my 71 today, but that is irrelevant. I can read in your posts actual recovery taking place, as Charles so wonderfully put it in an earlier post.
Please stay here for a bit a detail your recovery. For me every day I do not gamble means I have head space to do other things – spend time with family, spend time with my dog, slowly start to fix the terrible mess I created (financial, business, homelife, self esteem etc). I have my assesment at the National Problem Gambling Clinic on 22nd June and to do the treatment I want I have to have a minimum of 80-90 days gamble free time so that my head is clear. When I have the assessment I will be on 81 days.
For me gambling has just been the latest in a long line of addictions that include heroin, cocaine, crack and almost every other kind of substance known to man. However, nothing destroyed me like gambling, nothing changed my worldview like gambling, nothing hollowed me out and left just a husk of a man who lived only in a world of pain and hurt like gambling. I never got recovery from the other addictions, just stopped using.
Abstinence is not recovery, but without abstinence we cannot have recovery.
Now I am gamble free and I am past the initial period of self hate, self doubt, recrimination, feelings of guilt of all the chaos I created, I can suddenly enjoy time with my boy. I am separated from his mum and I live with my parents in Stoke while she is in London. But I get 1-2 days a week with him and in those 1 or 2 days I am more present than I ever was when I was living at home.
You are a true heroine.
noun
1.
a woman of distinguished courage or ability, admired for her brave deeds and noble qualities.
All my love to you and yours. Please keep posting, I personally need to read good stories of recovery.
Mav