[Magclin]

I’m at the bottom and want to remember my feelings of despair. If it weren’t for my beautiful family and responsibility for them I would just end it. I’m forcing myself to write it down, but my mind is mush right now from the feelings of remorse, regret, loathe, ashamed, despair…

[Dunc]

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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[charles]

Hi Magclin and welcome to the forum.

I hope you are now reading and your head isn’t quite so mushy. I’ve had heads like that myself!

Read the other stories here. You will see a lot you of things you can relate to I am sure. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

Where do you normally gamble? Get yourself excluded. If you gamble online then you can slso get a blocker for your PC.

It sounds like your family are aware of your gambling/problem? Who can help you be accountable for your money? What barriers can you put in place that wil make it harder for you to gamble?

„….remorse, regret, loathe, ashamed, despair…“

I had all those feelings. Thye have long since been replaced by the joy of recovery and pride in tackiling a tough addiction.

Keep posting, maybe tell us a little more about your situation and of course tell us about the positive steps you can now start to apply.

[Magclin]

Thank You

[Magclin]

Thank you Charles and I am John
I am 50 with a beautiful loving family and a wonderful profession and I love both. I have been addicted to slots for over 10 years. If I could just hold or remember how I feel now I would never go back

[Magclin]

I will work on the barriers. Wifes not speaking to me now and I don’t blame her. So many broken promises so many times I lied. For some reason she still cares. I set up barriers several years back and did ok for a year or so. Thought I was ok, but the Demon is always there waiting…

[Magclin]

At least I sleep well. I feel like a coward. I was unable to face my wife and tell her for the thousandth time what I had done. Why the hell cant I control this. On my way back home from New Orleans I wanted to end it in the swamps and if it wasn’t for the pain I would cause my girls. That thought brings me back to sanity every time. My wife, 3 beautiful daughters, 2 even more beautiful granddaughters, and a grandson on the way (finally a boy thank you God!)
I have to find the way back to the things I used to enjoy.

[maverick.]

Magclin, keep sharing and posting how you feel, this addiction can be so strong and at times there seems like there isnt a way out, we just have to keep fighting and working hard at beating this addiction as always one day at a time, focus on the good things my friend like your family……..I know it may be tough at the moment and trust me I know the web of lies and broken promises we tell to try and cover up what we have done, we can get better and life does get better trust me but it doesnt while we still have gambling in our life.

I wish you well in your recovery and life, from a fellow compulsive gambler, when I gamble I cannot stop no matter what……..thats why I must stay away from that first bet, if I make that first bet again I know I will lose everything because it has happened so many times before.

Hope you have a good gamble free day and look after yourself.

Maverick

[Magclin]

Thank You
I will keep posting

[Magclin]

Somehow I have to get that back. Material things have no meaning. I can’t seem to find the joy I once had. My home, my land, my hobbies (no interest). My wife, my children, and my next gambling trip are the things I used enjoy most. I’ve missed many family gatherings… Lying. I look at other fathers/husbands and I feel like such a looser compared to them. Shit… I’m wallowing in self pity again.

[charles]

Hi Magclin,

It sounds like your wife is in a similar situation to where my family were in the end. The was no reason for them to believe a word I said. They had heard all my lies and broken promises before. Even when I meant those promises the addiction was too strong so I broke them anyway.

That’s why actions are important. The actions that will help you stop gambling, like getting banned, posting here, going to GA meetings etc are the same actions that might give your wife cause to think „Hey, maybe he means it this time“

Have you shown your wife this site? She can get support and advice for herself in the Friends and Family forum. She would also see soem of the success stories here and see that there is light at the end of the tunnel with those positive actions.

Keep posting and let us know what actions you are taking.

[Autor]

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