Ashamed, I am in the same sort of bind. I have gone from being the financially sound, resourceful and responsible head of my household to the one that has put us on the brink of ruin in 6 years of gambling. I am in debt and having trouble paying it back. I have two jobs and work 7 days a week in order to make my payments at this time. I have relapsed a few times I the past 6 months but have been putting more and more days in between them. When I first began recovery it was a challenge to make it one week without relapse. Then it was 10 days. I’m past the 30 day mark at some point ( I don’t like to count days anymore because it felt like it just kept gambling in my mind too much of the time. ) I have not gambled in a while and dont intend to ever again. I think about it occasionally but have put a number of blocks in my way so that I cant. I was an electronics gambler, not a casino gambler, as casinos are too far from where I live ( I did exclude from them as well) so it easy to gamble from the comfort of my home. I now cant gamble on laptop, phone or iPad because I have installed gamban. It is software that does not allow you to access any site related to gambling. It has saved me. Knowing that I cant gamble is making it easy to curb the urges. They come and go quickly when the front of my mind knows that I cant. Get software to stop you. It is all well and good to want to stop but like any addiction it is more helpful to block access for the first while until the urges and cravings stop. As for telling your family, that is a personal choice. I have only told my sister who has helped to bale me out a few times when times got rough, but I did not tell my parents or my daughter. I find it to be selfish to worry them with my problems as they have enough of their own and my daughter is on medication for anxiety and depression already. I will fix this myself and focus on being the best that I can be for the future. I have been a great provider in the past and been through rough times before. I will get there and so will you. Get the monkey off of your back that is weighing you down. Get rid of access to gambling, focus on a plan that will help you get back on your feet in the short run. Work on the long run when you are on more stable ground. I took a second job and am working on payment plans with various people to get caught up and back to regular payments. It is going to be three to four months of getting back to zero then I can look at a long range plan to get my savings back up and debt paid off. Throw yourself into this instead of gambling and you will be surprised and what you can accomplish
