Day 15. – week three.
Even when I had gamble free days in the past I’m not sure I ever went completely gamble free. I gradually added more until I was back to where I started.
So I would do the lottery , do a trip to bingo, end up playing the slots there and tell myself it was ok because I wasn’t blowing hundreds and thousands online – I then would tell myself I had only given up online gambling .
This is better – no gambling means the urges have died down considerably. I have not gambled at all since payday and half way through the month I have saved a little , paid off a little and can look forward a little.
I have two weekends away to look forward to .
It has come at a cost – I have not visited someone very close who also has a gambling addiction- being with her sabotages my recovery every single attempt- in truth it’s me not her – just it always seems that’s it’s ok because we will go together , it is sociable , we will spend time together ( yeah right ??), I will limit what I spend and next thing I am back in action.
Lessons from the past , looking forward to the future but just for today I will not gamble .