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    • #37196
      FlyingDutchman
      Participant

      I have been a compulsive gambler for well over 10 years, probably closer to 12 years in fact. Even though I do some sports betting, football ACCAs mainly, my big weakness has always been the FOBTs / slots online and bookies. i have lost a fortune over the years, have been in therapy, and have also attended GA, trying to stop gambling is a constant battle, I stop for a while, then I relapse then I stop and it goes on and on. 2005 to 2010 were the worst period, I lost my business, family everything during that time, then I got some help and things got under control I think at one point I didn’t gamble at all for about 1 year, I was amazed myself. I never have any real money because I am unable to save a penny, when I do have any money put aside sooner or later some casino or bookies takes it from me…or rather I give it to them, madness I know ! Last year even though I gambled I managed to keep it under control, but this year this raging habit has taken over me in such a way, that I am back in debt for the first time in years, not to mention I have been unable to meet my responsibilities, my rent is over due by 2 months already. If I am going to work I manage to get my head down without gambling at all, but when I am off which happens at least 3 days a week, when I go out Of the house, I gamble to the last penny, did it again this morning went out to buy bread, come back with no bread and 8 pounds left in my account. The good news is I won’t be able to gamble till I get paid the bad news is will I start again as soon as I get paid ? I hope not, I certainly don’t want that but the urges just take over, I am fighting a battle with the devil and right now I am not winning…. This morning whilst I was out I got at least 3 strong urges to gamble, just like that out of the blue, but by the 4th I caved in and lost big time ! I have tried everything, but there is so many temptations out there, I have 7 bookies just a 5 minute walk from my house, it’s impossible to step out without getting crazy urges to gamble. At home it’s getting easier I have self excluded from pretty much every online casino going, but out in the real world is another story all together. I don’t want to come across as weak or that I have given up, I haven’t and I won’t but this is one hell of a challenge that is constantly on my mind. It’s got to the stage that I worry about going out because I don’t trust myself, what to do ? I will call this day 1, and I will come back I give everyone an update. Something has got to give. Thanks for reading !

    • #37197
      finding_laura
      Participant

      Hey flying Dutchman,

      usually that something giving is me, to the slot machines! Seriously though, sounds tough, with the urges! I played out in the real world too. The thing that helped with my urges was having my bank account monitored and had to provide receipts for the money I spent, to my mother. I was a 39 year old woman who had to be held accountable. Gradually we stopped, but I wish I would have kept it up. I had six years of no gambling, most of it without being monitored. I hope you are able to find something to help with the urges. Keep posting!

    • #37198
      Dunc
      Keymaster

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing.  We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support.  We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment.  The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward.  So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and  terms and conditions so you know how it all works!    

    • #37199
      FlyingDutchman
      Participant

      Thanks for your comment. I am determined to stop for good. Coming here and reading other people’s stories and comments helps a lot. I might pop into one of the chat groups later. Have a great gambling free day !

    • #37200
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Hello FD

      Like most threads in the forum I can empathise a great deal with yours. You are obviously an intelligent bloke but when it comes to gambling all common sense and rationale flies out the window.

      I too am utterly useless when it comes to dealing with gambling urges and I usually do give in to them. For me after spending five periods of time behind bars specifically for committing crimes to feed gambling, I decided a new approach was needed, I needed to eliminate the urges to gamble and for the most part I have done. To me living life in recovery shouldn’t be about having a daily struggle with urges to gamble because, to me, the quality of life when doing so isn’t too much better than when actually doing gambling activities.

      You say you went out to get a loaf of bread and came back with no bread and only £8 in your account, but yet a loaf of bread costs only a pound, maybe two if its posh bread. Why did you not only go out with enough money to buy a loaf of bread?

      I’m not asking this in a reprimanding manner, and not because I want to know your answer, I already know that. I ask this to underline to you how we let the addiction get to us and how we lie to ourselves.

      You can learn to live your life without getting gambling urges, it is possible I believe for anybody. But mate it requires some major changes in many aspects of life. I appreciate that everyone is different and what works for me might not work for others, also it has taken me years and years to finally get to the point where I can live a relatively easy going life not spoilt by a constant barrage of urges or increasing debt brought on by my latest gambling exploit.

      To me the key to everything has been the ability to open up and talk honestly to people, it helps a great deal. Sitting with problems and letting them fester brings about unhappiness and stress or a range of other unpleasant emotions things that we need to escape from. Likewise good things in life can bring a whole range of other emotions that we may not be able to handle correctly, this is also something that has brought around manic gambling in my life.

      You’ve had therapy before I hope you take the plunge again, would be nice to see an update. At the moment you’re probably still raw to the gambling and urges will probably come thick and fast, its not up to me or anybody to tell you what to do, but I would recommend visiting one of the support groups available on this site, or if you do get urges use the live help.

      Nobody needs to gamble mate, and nobody needs to be a slave to it. You can change and I hope that you take steps to start making the necessary changes.

      Take care.

      Geordie.

    • #37201
      FlyingDutchman
      Participant

      Hi Geordie
      Thanks for your comment. I have taken your knowledge and advice on board, it is very useful to me. Just taking the step to come on this site has helped enormously I find great comfort in reading other people’s stories and realise that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

      With regards to my therapy it was at the national problem gambling clinic in soho, and helped me a lot as I stopped for around 1 year, maybe more, to be honest the last 12 years have been one big gambling blur so I can’t be precise. Due to work commitments I missed a few appointments (I was working shifts at the time) and eventually dropped out through embarrassment. I am not sure they would take me back after dropping out like that. They do a great job there though and I highly recommend it.

      At the moment it’s one step at a time and this for me is only day 2, weirdly I feel quite confidant so looking forward to tomorrow already. I have picked up quite a few interesting tips just by reading other people’s posts and will adapt a few ideias myself. One of which is to get rid of my bank cards and when I am on my own I will only go out with minimal cash in my pocket. It’s a challenge I look forward to, thanks for posting, have a great day.

    • #37202
      FlyingDutchman
      Participant

      Day 3 was yesterday, today is day 4. So far so good, just been out did some shopping no urges to gamble, no interest whatsoever. It’s going well, haven’t had a gamble free 4 days in a row since last year. Feeling good ! Everybody have a great weekend ! Stay strong !

    • #37203
      JayKay82
      Participant

      Hi There, Thanks for your post on my thread. I believe we have to be accountable for our actions, i also believe you can do it yourself, but most people need help. One piece of good news for you is that the longer you stay away the easier it gets. We all loved to gamble at one time or another but you must admit you are a CG and can never gamble again. Its the only way to beat it ! Best of luck, use the site when you feel like gambling. Read the posts instead of gambling. Remember how gambling makes everything worse, not better and your life will turn around for the better

    • #37204
      Hammo
      Participant

      Same issue I have, live in the middle of the town there is 2 coral shops within 20 doors of me, and then a ladbrokes and 2 betfreds. I instantly after loosing pay check upon pay check sled excluded myself, didn’t help as I then turned to gambling online excessive amounts, literally all money coming in is going out on gambling or should I say was. Self excluded online all apart one account, William hill and I have set blocks so I can only use sports. It gets easier just have to put fundementals in place like self exclusion to give you that help in hand. All faith in you the first week or so is the hardest!

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