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    • #44496
      Tango74
      Participant

      Hello everyone. I a member of the site for a while maybe 7-8 years ago and attended GA regularly too. I frequently said the things people wanted to hear, but seldom followed my own widsom!

      I got some therapy last year and managed to stay away from things for 51 days which was a mighty achievement I felt, but I still went back to it and let myself and those around me down. There is no point in window dressing or celebrating that minor abstinence in over 30 years of gambling.

      I have been following the progress of the Multi-operator self-exclusion scheme with much interest and last night finally signed up. I have never used a firm not registered with Gambling Commission and (somewhat ironically) I always wanted to know my money was safe. So, I feel this will be a huge help even though the scheme is only partially ‘up’ at the moment. Given I work in IT security no blocking software has ever been of any use, I know, I have circumvented them all!

      Right now, things are a bit of a blur and I have many financial things to straighten out before I address my character flaws, but I did love keep my journal before and spending time reading and maybe even helping others. So, here we go again. Onwards and upwards!

      Tango.

    • #44497
      velvet
      Moderator

      Hello Tango and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #44498
      Tango74
      Participant

      Hi again Velvet. I hope you are keeping well? It’s been a long time. I know you were an immeasurable help to my wife back in the day and I know she’s been in touch with you recently too. I know the multi-operator self-exclusion isn’t a magic bullet and it in itself is just a well-sized barrier, but I have a genuine belief that it will be what I need to abstract myself sufficiently from gambling, that I can start to reformulate my life. The finances, the relationships, the interest in ‘doing things’, work, all of the things that suffer when the one and only thing on your mind is gambling!

      In the 12 hours since I clicked that button, there have already be numerous thoughts of gambling, but then I remind myself of the big red stop sign. It’s met with just a shrug of the shoulders and an ‘oh well’, but I know only too well, that ease of dealing with it is based on the euphoria of having enacted my decision to try to quit (again) and as time passes the urges will mount. I have to face facts though having used the online and offline multi-exclusions (I have no idea how well the latter works – I have heard stories of it being next to pointless) I have truly battened down the hatches and the avenues in which to gamble are sealed off.

      Now many times I have tried to be responsible with my gambling? But, as is no surprise to anyone, eventually an concept of responsible gambling will give way to chasing and higher and higher stakes until it’s all gone.

      I’ve going to quit that path, for me and my family.

      All the best,

      Tango.

    • #44499
      velvet
      Moderator

      Hi Tango
      Welcome back, I am 99.999% certain I remember you.
      I think every method of coping with the addiction to gamble will be denounced by someone as ‘pointless’; there is no one-size fits all but when it comes down to it the ‘only’ person that can make the difference between addiction and freedom is the one who ‘wants’ to make the difference and in your case that person is ‘you’.
      When you test your addiction you are not accepting it. It is Vain Hope that test drives an addiction, a hope that maybe, just maybe, this time it will be different but Vain Hope is not your friend, nor ever will be.
      I am pleased that you have returned to this forum and I hope you will use the groups and begin to enjoy the fruits of a true gamble-free life. Use your journal to chart your progress, lip service really is pointless and doesn’t wash here. I am sure you remember that the reason I write here is because I have seen true recoveries and wonderful outcomes so I am not talking about the impossible dream that your addiction offers.
      Keep posting T – it is great to hear you back and determined just for ‘today’.
      Velvet

    • #44500
      Tango74
      Participant

      I realised yesterday that not all sites registered with the Gambling Commission are yet signed up to Gamstop and I discovered an old account with £9.75 in it. I didn’t have any withdrawal methods set-up as it was a £5 free deposit from a while back. Suffice to say I played and lost, but then excluded. So, all-in-all, that makes today Day One. Also, whilst I was getting the kids ready for school this morning, I think my old username came to me in a flash, “whatami”. It’s a question I still ask. Will have a couple of hundred quid in my account today, so it’ll be good to get through the day spending it wisely – food shopping and school clothes for the kids – rather than lining a bookie’s coffers.

    • #44501
      finding_laura
      Participant

      Hey Tango, welcome back to the site. Progress not perfection! Glad you self excluded from that site. I hope the money made it to the grocery store! When in action I’d have tried to sneak in a bet or two off that money.
      So my big question to you Tango is, why do you have access to money??? If you can’t ban everywhere and you can install blocking software than another option is to not have access to your bank account. And yes that may mean being doled out a daily allowance but that seems a small price to pay if could help you beat this addiction.
      I hope you had a good day shopping with the kids. Glad you are back here taking another crack at a gamble free healthy life. Take care, Laura

    • #44502
      charles
      Moderator

      Hi Tango.

      It is an old saying – actions speak louder than words. If the last time you were here you were just saying the things peole wanted to hear then this time you can show themby your actions.

      Get back to posting, get back to GA – let your actions do the talking.

    • #44503
      Tango74
      Participant

      Well, here we go again. Of course the radio silence of the last 3 months could have only meant one thing, I was back ‘at it’. Depsite having signed up to Gamstop I found a small private bookie who still hadn’t signed up, so I could $punk all my money away. What’s that 3 months cost me? In more financial terms the thick end of £10k, but it’s much more than that when I consider what I have done to myself and my feelings towards myself and then to my family. Once again I have essentially stolen from them to ‘have fun’. Some kind of masochist or what? It wasn’t all bad news though I did ensure my wife (yes, she’s still putting up with me) got a suitable wedding anniversary present and I paid for a holiday too, I actually felt really good about myself having been a ‘grown up’ and sorted those things out. Trouble was having been a grown up and spent money on goods and services, I couldn’t leave it at that, I had to use what was left to win it back. As it happens, initially at least, I did. I appreciate that a lot of people will say, why have you got control of your finances, and I would say, because as a compulsive gambler, it doesn’t matter whether I have or not, I will ALWAYS find a way to get the money and actually, taking it from my own earned funds is less damaging than paying payday loan rates of interest or selling family heirlooms. Suffice to say, today is Day 2 having excluded manually from the private bookies. Feeling good to not have that draw, feeling downright awful at the state I have got myself in again. I’m worn down, I can’t even bring myself to say ‘never again’ because if I did, I wouldn’t believe it. I have to put in some serious effort now to start to turn things around, I managed 51 days once, that’s only 7 weeks away, I could get double that in by Christmas. That would be a proper Christmas present. Who knows what the future will hold? For now I think I will try and be honest with myself and this forum and come back each day. Thanks for reading!

    • #44504
      Tango74
      Participant

      Just had ‘that’ conversation with my wife. I don’t know how many times we have both gone through the pain of it, but my actions led me back again. Any semblance of trust – vanished, and shows of affection – washed way, any belief – trashed. What a horrible, horrible thing to do, and I have to realise it was entirely me that did it. I put my selfish desire to gamble above the health and wellbeing of my family. Any parts of our lives being rebuilt are torn down again.

      I did explain to my wife I have no desire to split up the family, but equally we both have to consider whether splitting up would be in the best interest of the kids. If I continue to gamble (there is always a way) it would be better to properly split up, get the CSA involved and ensure they take the money at source, ensuring the kids get what they need. Such a awful way to have to look at your life, but those are the facts.

      Funnily enough, the kids (and wife to some degree) have been on and on about getting a dog. I figure, if she thinks there is even a chance, I can break the cycle and is prepared once again to give it a go, perhaps after 3 months on the wagon, I should agree to it as my Christmas present to the family. Heaven knows, I have no desire whatsoever for a dog. Dirty, noisy, smelly, attention-requiring four-legged things that they are. But, I figure I owe them that. It’s just a thought for now, but it might be useful to remember why it’s there every time I see the dog?

    • #44505
      kathryn
      Participant

      You don’t need to say ‘never again’. Just say ‘not today’
      Im sorry you are having such an awful time of it.
      Your wife obviously loves you…..would she have stayed this long if she didn’t? I don’t know if you will be able to sort it out, in truth people can only take so much, but theres always hope.
      Have you considered having your wife take over all the finances? You said it yourself, trust is gone, so perhaps its time to let her have control while you are still actively gambling. It could also be an olive branch, showing your commitment to managing this terrible addiction.
      We got a dog a year ago. My husband harped on for 10 years, promised me that he would do everything, pick up the poop, feed her, blah blah blah.
      While I refuse to pick up after her, I feed her every night. He takes her to work with him which is great, we take her camping which she loves and shes a pretty funny thing (kelpie). Anyway, enough of my blabbing, just wanted to welcome you back, you know what to do. So time to do it and kick gambling out of your life.
      Love K xxx

    • #44506
      Tango74
      Participant

      Hi K, thanks for your time in writing. Alas having been through the mill a number of times, there isn’t anyone left who is prepared to take control of my finances. This is a ‘sink or swim’ moment, either I sort myself out, or I am out. Patience is running very thin.

      That said, here we are at Day 3 and every time I’ve thought about gambling, I’ve kicked the thoughts into the long grass. Right now, I can’t even be bothered to try and find another bookie who hasn’t yet signed up to Gamstop, which is good.

    • #44507
      Tango74
      Participant

      No money and no attempts to obtain money. A busy afternoon at work, so little time for gambling to cross my mind. The road ahead looks as daunting as ever, but I have a clear choice now, to live a gamble free life with my family or to keep gambling and live alone, debt-ridden and hounded by creditors in some kind of hovel.

    • #44508
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Hi Tango

      It jumps of the page at me, not because you’ve written it in capitals but because if thats what you truly believe then, I agree with you, thats what will ALWAYS happen.

      Of course it will ALWAYS happen aslong as you ALWAYS want to gamble.

      From my own personal experience I can tell you the weakest link in my fight against gambling was not having my money looked after. Once I took that step I havn’t looked back. 

      It is hard to make changes but I’m sorry Tango, you are making a hard battle a lot harder by not wanting to hand your finances over. It is keeping the door to gambling wide open.

      Why will your wife not help you with this?

    • #44509
      Tango74
      Participant

      The simple reason neither my wife or father will help look after my funds is that it is a road too well travelled and they have had enough, they simply do not have the fight or interest. They have both made it very clear this is my last shot if I want a continued relationship with either of them and I have to prove I can do it for myself.

      I cannot argue with you at all that this makes things a lot harder, but it does also make things a damn sight more realistic. Not gambling because you have to money is nowhere near the same as choosing not to gamble even though you have the ways and means. Because there are so many failed attempts behind me (most of which include supposedly not having access to funds – there are always payday lenders, logbook lenders etc.) this time I have to do it for myself.

    • #44510
      Tango74
      Participant

      No money, ergo no gambling. Will have some money next week, albeit a minor amount, but that’d never stop me, so will see what happens.

    • #44511
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Well Tango I’m afraid I cant agree with you I’ve had very little experience of not gambling just because I had no money. I stole, burgled and robbed many times to get money to gamble. If you’ve been around 7 or 8 years you’ll probably have read of the sickenning obnoxious callous and wicked stunt I pulled in 2005, which resulted in me going back to prison on an 18 month sentance, my fifth sentance inside, after 17 years since I’d last come out of prison.

      I know what it’s like.

      You say that it’s a well travelled road, your wife or dad looking after your funds. But yet, it appears you still have the capability to get log book loans and payday loans. To access the money from the loans you must have had access to a bank account and therefore you havnt ringfenced your access to funds have you. When asking people to look after your finances it should be 100% of access, they could even keep your ID safe for you mate. Show them how serious you are actions do speak louder than words.

      Your Wife and Dad want you to get better, but they are at the end of their tether with you, I dont blame them for not wanting to look after your money. But but but, when youve tried this before youve gone behind their backs and been deceitful. Why not suggest this time they do it and you hand over all ID and bank cards? So you cannot get loans, give them your log-book, show them you mean what you say, if you do of course.

      It wont fix you, but putting payday loans and whatever else out of reach, access to gambling will become more difficult and, in time, less of a temptation.

      There are nearly always ways and means to gamble Tango, dependant on your tolerance of it. I read peoples stories of destructive gambling, nearly everyday. There are, apperently, always good reasons for not installing blockers, going to GA, not having funds looked after. The reasons given, in my cynical mind, are just cop outs. Change is hard, change is difficult, change just dosn’t happen. It requires hard work, real commitment and barrel loads of self-confidence.

      To me Tango, it sounds like you have little confidence in yourself. “I will ALWAYS find a way to get the money,” Or your post today didn’t sound too confident. “”..so will see what happens”

      I must have said dozens of times on this forum the hardest thing for me was accepting that yes I could change. And after rehab in 2010, perhaps before, I started changing, I’ve still a long way to go in some respects…but life is a journey. As Laura would say, progress not perfection.

      I am a very cynical person I’m afraid, having been a lying toe-rag and theiving gambling **** for a very long time I know that my gambling and my deceit knew no boundaries. You still have some Tango, if you truly and honestly want to stop gambling ask for the help and practical support you need so badly, bcause believe me mate being homeless or in prison is no picnic. 

      Of course if you still hang on to the belief that you can win a few quid and walk away with it, then no support will protect you from yourself. (Maybe a sttraight jacket and manicles).

      I wish you well with your journey and well done for not succombing over the last 4 days.

    • #44512
      Monica1
      Participant

      I am one who did not give my money over. In the early days I was destitute and had nothing at all, but gradually life improved. I also had no one to hand over my money to and now manage my money myself with no big temptations to gamble any more. Whilst many say it is the best thing to do, it is not the same for,all. Whilst addicted, all funds went on gambling but not any more. So don’t feel that you absolutely have to do it. There is a very small percentage who don’t. But it definitely helps in recovery if we don’t have access. As everyone so,union doesn’t fit all.

    • #44513
      Monica1
      Participant

      One solution doesn’t fit all.

    • #44514
      i-did-it
      Participant

      Hi Tango
      Well done on brushing yourself down and starting again- it’s not easy to do.
      I do agree with your statement – there is always a way to gamble. I also understand what it is like to have no-one to hand your money over to, for whatever reason.

      I feel you are doing really well despite this – to be honest gamstop proved to be a huge let down for me too and if the reviews I read on the internet are anything to go by – the same applies for many others . It seems casinos are already finding ways around it and it is so difficult to sign up, you can only put in a limited amount of details or the registration won’t go through and it seems crazily dependent on an email address, so I hear you loud and clear .

      It is so hard to stop gambling so please give yourself credit for how far you have come – something which most people on here don’t agree with but has let me get that first few gamble free days is a temporary exclusion from sites . I guess it falls into the “I’m not saying I will never gamble but I’ll not gamble
      For the next few days” category . I self excluded for two weeks from all sites . It has given me time to think , clear my head and put other barriers in place. I seem to be able to cope with this while permanent exclusions have had me searching for hours to find new sites to sign up to .

      Monica nailed it – one solution definitely doesn’t fit all- and when I have tried to fit in with the solutions others force on me, I inevitably fail- find what works for you . Find the things that let you get the next little while gamble free and then keep doing it !
      Take on board the advice that works for you and ignore the rest – this is your recovery and you must do it what works for you to stay in it !

      Great to see you back!

    • #44515
      Tango74
      Participant

      Many thanks to Monica and i-did-it for your words. I know people are obviously trying to help, but often they can come across (to me at least) as preachy. The “this is how you do it” brigade. I can’t stress enough, that I know their intentions are good, but equally, there’s only so much about any situation you can know from the words written on a forum post. I always try and make sure whenever I comment on the posts of others that I make it clear am giving an opinion or an option. There is no right or wrong, it’s not black and white, but many shades of grey. You have both made me feel a lot better about my decisions and situation and as I enter day six, I am feeling oddly happy. It’s a Saturday, usually the biggest sporting day of the week, and sports were always where I was most active … and then often slots or roulette for a quick fix whilst the match was in play! Very much expecting today to be gamble-free though. Thanks again folks!

    • #44516
      i-did-it
      Participant

      Lol Tango,
      And there will always be someone when you write how well you are doing who will say “but you haven’t …”. Ignore that too- as people with gambling addiction our self esteem can be fragile and it is easy to knock us off kilter- keep doing what works for you – keep remembering that criticism can be other people trying to make themselves feel better about who they are —it goes with the big shot mentality!

      Keep strong , you deserve all the great things life has to offer as much as any other person on the planet !

    • #44517
      LeFrenchman
      Participant

      Well done for trying a weekend free from Gambling….

      Not easy…. as the adds and temptation are everywhere…

    • #44518
      kathryn
      Participant

      I hope I am not one of those ‘preachy’ types you speak of.
      It is never mine (or I believe anyone else’s) intention to come off that way. I think reading a post could be taken many different ways depending on the mindset of the reader at that particular time.
      I just know what helped me, and when I first found this forum I had absolutely no idea where to start. My life was in absolute tatters, my house was going to have to be sold to pay for my debts, my husband was barely speaking to me, I was desperate and in huge trouble.
      I’m one who did try every single thing, so when I post I try to give the poster some ideas. What they do with it is up to them. We are all responsible for our own recovery, and me posting to others is a way I try to give back. I would hate to think my posts are taken as a criticism.
      I’m really happy to read that you are getting through your days.
      Lets face it, if there was a definite treatment for this addiction we would all do it. As Pathetic Shark (via Laura) wrote…… progress, not perfection. Happy to read of yours.
      Take what you need, leave what you don’t.
      Keep fighting, and I wish you all the best.
      Love K xxx

    • #44519
      Tango74
      Participant

      Hi K (and indeed everyone else)!

      Fear not Kathryn, I aleays appreciate what you write and know it comes from the heart and with experience.

      So, this is Day 7! Did an extra 1.5km on the bike this morning as just as I hit 10k “California Stars” by Billy Bragg and Wilco came on the radio and I started out hearing “Tempted” by Squeeze which really put a spring in my step. I wish we had stations in the UK that played this kind of music. Thankfully throught the wonder if the internet I can listen to Sun Radio in Austin, TX.

      When I used to go to GA (I’ve not gone in a couple of years since we moved) I used to find it really useful just to share stuff with people, in fact in our group, we all did it, we found having a release valve for our troubles, or conversely, an audience for our good news, helped people maintain an even keel, which meant they were more settled and less prone to lapses. It wasn’t even necessarily to garner a response, it was just the ability to ‘let it out’.

      It’s entirely possible once I settle down into non-gambling mode that this thread might end up a bit of a rant and rave, but I’d far rather it was that than I was ‘at it’ again.

      Looking forward to wrapping up today and my first gamble-free week for over six months.

    • #44520
      i-did-it
      Participant

      Hi Tango My thread often ends up a rant too. I guess better out than in .

      Can I second what you just said about Kathryn – have never found her anything other than wonderfully supportive. beautiful person !

      Keep doing whatever works – I went to a pretty awful GA- although maybe it was just me – I hate group sharing situations of any kind and your name was called out and you were meant to speak – like on a roll. It was just horrible and uncomfortable.

      Therefore I am glad to read of your positive  experience – some people swear by ga so it might be worth your while finding andother group. Hope all is going well Keep strong !

    • #44521
      Tango74
      Participant

      * based on the average male life expectancy in the UK.

      Don’t worry, I know it’s just ‘one day at a time’, and the figure to firmly tongue-in-cheek, but it is also a reality if I really want a healthy life.

      This last week has been fairly easy due to lack of funds. In fact it’s probably no different in outcome to somewhere between 3-4 weeks of every month, depending on how quickly I blow it. The difference is the mindset, as well as an “I can’t gamble”, there’s an “I don’t want to gamble”.

    • #44522
      Tango74
      Participant

      Today is the first day where there’s some money in my account. I am pretty certain I would have been online and already have placed a bet had I not closed down the last remaining 2 accounts I had opened. I know a lot of people have said Gamstop is pretty easy to get round, but thankfully, when I tried (not in the last 9 day I hasten to add) I was not able to, and I am thankful for that.

      So, for me, this is where it really starts, can I appropriate funds to where they need to go and not spend them with the bookies? At this moment in time I feel fine about having the money there (it’s only about £130 anyway) but I know that I can get complacent. Just got to take each day as it comes.

    • #44523
      Tango74
      Participant

      Not all of the money I had in my account is left, but not because of gambling. Just buying stuff – light bulbs, shower gel, breakfast cereal. The usual stuff, the stuff ordinary people do without thinking. Amazingly for me, that’s still a big deal, it’s like I was about 12! And, previously once I had done something ‘normal’, I would ‘reward’ myself with a gamble. Sound familiar? What ludicrous and crazy thinking, but a CG rationalises that at the drop of a hat.

      They say the first bet is the one to avoid and I’d like to keep it that way.

    • #44524
      Nick
      Participant

      Hi Tango thanks for your post on my thread it looks like your doing the same as me , what works , works , so keep doing that . I’m pretty much the same as you i recognise that i can go 3-4 weeks with very little money and survive so lets do it on a budget leaving our hard earned money in the bank .

    • #44525
      i-did-it
      Participant

      I get that Tango – about buying ordinary stuff . I was delighted because we had roast lamb for dinner on Sunday !
      Of course it has become extraordinary to us – we need to get used to spending our money on what we need or want instead of our addiction.

      Keep strong and keep posting

    • #44526
      Tango74
      Participant

      Found myself at a bit of a loose end this morning as having spent 90 minutes going nowhere and knowing I had at least the same about of traveling time ahead, I quit going into the office. Normally having turned around to drive back home, I would have probably decided to stop off in the bookies and waste whatever cash I had on me, but not this time, stopped to pick up some fizzy water, sausage rolls, sponge scourers and more light blubs (the last lot I bought where the wrong type) in the supermarket – don’t say I don’t know how to live!

      Gave myself a little pat on the back for that decision, it would have been oh so easy to have rolled back into the old ways. Feeling good!

    • #44527
      vera
      Participant

      Great post, Tango.
      The “Not this time” feeling is worth a thousand “wins”!
      Nice combination of purchases…light bulbs and scourers are especially symbolic!

    • #44528
      Tango74
      Participant

      Lovely to hear from you Vera. It’s Day 12 today and all is well. Was knocked a little off keel by something quite small, but, to me very annoying, in that my wife threw away some food which whilst being past its ‘best before’ date, was still perfectly edible. It just really annoyed me and I could feel the anger building up and I couldn’t release it by throwing myself into the dream world of the compulsive gambler, so took to the exercise bike instead … and clocked up a personal best!

    • #44529
      Tango74
      Participant

      Another sport-filled Saturday, but with no gambling. I have my fantasy Premier League and F1 to keep me interested though, it’s not quite the same thing, but it’ll have to do. Yes, despite all it has done to me, at this moment in time, I would still love to have a sports bet. I know that sounds crazy, but I need to be honest with myself. I have no intention of having that sports bet, because I know where it had led so many times before, but I would be lying if I said I never WANT to gamble again, because I do . However, equally I KNOW I must not. Maybe in time I will actually not want to gamble, but for now it’s there, not exactly a craving, that’s a bit too full on, more a desire. But at least it doesn’t feel like a NEED!

    • #44530
      Tango74
      Participant

      Still got on my bike yesterday, but didn’t exactly make healthy eating choices with my Bacon Double XL burger, but hey, I reckon the 70k+ I’ve done this week covers that!

      Two weeks of gambling free time approaching fast. Still money sitting in my account too, albeit not a lot, but it’s more symbolic than anything else. I’d normally bet down to my last penny, so having anything above the minimum deposit at the bookies in my account is a success.

    • #44531
      i-did-it
      Participant

      Hi Tango
      It’s the beat feeling to have money in your account – it’s symbolic but it also gives us options .
      It’s interesting-that you got annoyed about the out of date food , especially when you compare it to how much we have wasted in our lives . After we stop gambling it is difficult to to normalise how we feel about money/ waste etc .
      I remember spending hundreds online and then going to the cheapest supermarket and buying the cheapest food -and yet still finding enough money to gamble again.
      I am so glad I can afford nice food now .

      Well done on your gamble free tome and really well done on
      Replacing the addiction with something healthy like cycling .
      You are doing really well!

    • #44532
      Tango74
      Participant

      That really means a lot. I am enjoying knuckling down to the cycling far more than I expected. I always felt is was going to feel like a chore.

      I too was almost perplexed by the paradox in my life, always memorising the prices of fuel at the various service stations I passed to remember where to buy the cheapest, buying a cheap set of clippers so I never again had to ‘waste’ gambling money on a haircut. The list goes on …

      Anyway, the money is now saved for better things for the family. I have also started back on doing online surveys and in 2 weeks have already amassed £30 in Amazon vouchers, if I keep going at that rate, it should pay for quite a bit of Christmas shopping!

    • #44533
      Tango74
      Participant

      It’s Day 15 today and the start of week three. Stupidly busy at work today, but all actually productive rather than simply chasing my tail, so will accenuate the positive! Everything seems good right now even with a little bit of money in the bank and cash in my hand, I just can’t be bothered to gamble at the moment.

    • #44534
      Tango74
      Participant

      Hello diary, me again! Nothing much to report, still making the right decisions, at the moment .I know that might sound a little negative, but past experiences suggest caution. Money spent on car insurance, but where was then the, oh well, there’s £30 left over, I could just use that for a bit of “fun”. It wasn’t a hugely prominent thought, but it was there and there was ever such a slight waiver on my part, but instead of following the gambler’s dream of what I’d do with the money, I retold the story of the misery and betrayal it would cause.

    • #44535
      i-did-it
      Participant

      Great post Tango
      Many’s the time I thought nothing of spending £30 on gambling but could not afford to go out and spend it on a nice meal or something to wear.

      It may be thirty quid over but when we gamble we have nothing to show for it except guilt , pain and self-loathing .

      Keep making those right decisions – those thirty pounds soon add up to a happier life !

    • #44536
      Tango74
      Participant

      Thanks to i-d-i for the confirmation that I am getting it right at the moment. I do feel very good. My other half is going away tonight and won’t be back until Sunday evening, so the “pocket money” has come out and I now have £200 in cash in my hand. Now, the previous me would have been working out what devious ways I could divert a few quid here and there so I could gamble.

      I’m not going to lie and say I don’t feel a little uneasy with that amount of ready cash, but actually I think perhaps that’s a good way to be, because it’s keeping me on my toes and aware of my previous predilection.

    • #44537
      Tango74
      Participant

      Busy day of assorted work on the house – painting, cleaning, hedge-cutting. You know it all happens here! I was in town as I went shopping, I needed to pay money into the bank and I knew however I walked it, I would pass at least 2 bookmakers. In the window of the first, I thought I saw a sign which said, “Bet £10, get £20”, I walked on by but knew that when I walked back from the bank I’d see it again. I did and I even stopped to read it. It was actually £2, not £20. What would I have done if it was the latter? I don’t honestly know. I hope I would have continued by journey on, but I really don’y know. It’s immaterial, but it just shows the lure is still very much there (and don’t the bookies know it!)

    • #44538
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I’d rather be a member of the “this is how you do it brigade,” Than the “Oh no I’ve done it again” club. I was a member of that for a long long time. 🙂

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