Betted Way more than I should, Living with regret and sleepless nights

Hi everyone, I am currently a college student at the age of 25 with no job with no debt but school loans. I have been gambling for as long as I could remember, Whenever I gamble I either win about 100-800 or lose about 500-1000 typically. I have lost more than I have won unfortunately and at those times were funded by my scholarship money. I always get upset but can overcome it because it was the risk I was willingly to take. I eventually stopped gambling for about a year until i reentered into sports betting. And the same cycle happened and as time passes by I give it another break due to the stress and pain it caused that was not worth the gamble. Here is where it gets bad. I start sports betting again and bought in 200, and bet it all and won a total of 350 and risked all of that again and won a total amount of 800. I then made 100-200 game bets and won up to 1600. I told myself that I would stop there because thats all I needed and would be happy with it. But guess what? I continue to keep gambling with it and made even more money over the period of a week. I was at 10,000 and told myself I'll stop but somehow I think that I needed more in order to no worry as much (bills & leisure) and be able to provide to my gf and myself. I start betting 1,000 - 1,500 games and each bet were so stressful however I got up 14,000. I wanted to slow down and only betted 500 on one game and I lost so I had to chase it because I realize how much that 500 could've done for me. This continued for about a week with all the stressful chasing but I ended up to 18,000 at the end. This is where I lost control (I even told myself that I would never bet more than what I cant lose and if anything I will make sure that I keep the 10,000) I made a 500 bet on a game and saw that I was losing, so I bet more on the game (live) up to 7,000. I ended up losing that game and I was stress with 9,500 left. I thought to myself that I could win it back so I bet 9,500 on the same game after halftime and lost all of it. This is when I became upset and realize how foolish I was. Now I am living with regret that that money could have done so much for me and my gf. I could've helped her pay off her car or my student loans. I could've taken her to Hawaii and enjoyed a nice break. What I am mainly upset with is that I lost it all on one game. Now its hard for me to sleep or function and do my daily activities knowingly that I let 18k slip by. I then put in another 2k of my own money and was hoping that I would get up to 5k and quit but I ended up losing it all. I can deal with that, but I cannot deal with losing 18k. I am really stressed and it has been so hard for me to find joy in the things I used to do. I don't wake up happy or go out happy anymore, I feel that a part of me is gone and that I can never get over the fact that I lost 18k. I have been feeling depressed and looked online on how people cope with these situations. One of the main one was to forgive myself and cut my losses and to continue on with my daily life without gambling as things will get better. This is easier said than done, I am super stressed and depressed. I can't sleep at all anymore and if I were too, its not a deep sleep; only about 5 hours worth. I need help. I feel like that 18k could've helped me so much because i hate working at retail where they call you in on unscheduled hours and force you to work to make $40 (depending on the hours). I feel like I could've avoided that. I know life is unfair and that is how you work to make a living. But I am hoping to just pull loans and go to school and become a successful engineer. I will then have a career that I enjoy going to work for. Im so stressed and depressed over this high limit bet that I made and let it all go away. I have sleepless nights. I am ok in the day time and enjoy the qualities that I spend with friends and family (since my focus isn't on the games and whats happening) but at night is just when all the stress and pain comes to me. My gf tells me not to worry, its not my money to begin with and that I shouldn't let it consume/control me. Its not meant to be for me. However, I would've love to help my parents out, help my gf pay some bills or take her shopping, and most importantly I wouldn't have to stress over money or live on a budget only if I had that 18k! Someone please help me, I am depressed and more overso my nights are so sleepless. Thanks for your time and for reading. I will check back on this for responses and will hope to keep this thread going.


I want to quit but my mind keeps telling me to try betting some more. Maybe I can turn 200 into 10k again and I would quit for sure by then. I don't like this feeling especially the stress that comes with it when betting. But if I win the income would help a lot and I would feel much better and less stress. Im losing sleep over this dilemma.


I read your story and was deeply saddened by it. I have been through the same situation many times. I remember walking through the town a couple of years ago realising that I could buy anything that I wanted because I had just banked a big win but guess what within a week I was penniless again because I tried to win even more. The sense of loss was overwhelming and as you say sleep became a problem and I was angry with myself for a long time. This is an awful situation to get ourselves in and the only way to beat it is to stop chasing dreams and live on what we have. Good luck in the future and just convince yourself that gambling is a fools game with very few winners.


Thank you so much. I am slowly trying to live on with what we have and to stop fantasizing as you said, gambling is really a fools game. I am starting to enjoy the better quality of life. I hope I can get through this, glad to know that you're overcoming it :)


It might have sounded like I was overcoming it but I had a minor relapse over the weekend and feel really ashamed of myself. The urges to gamble are overwhelming sometimes but with determination and willpower anything is possible, I have lived with this demon for far too long and know the power it has over me. One step and a time my friend and stay focussed because your quality of life is so important not just to you but also your loved ones that suffer with you this awful addiction. Just be angry with all the fat cats that are taking your money with a big smile on their face and a huge bank balance.


Its ok I have relapse to but recently when I do I try to find hobbies or something to do to keep my mind from it. Its at night is when its the hardest part to not think about because of all the regret and pain that is going through my head. How do you deal with this at night time? Thank you so much for responding :) Chatting with you has made it easier especially with your insights.


I can relate to your whole story, although mine is a much smaller amount, it still has affected me the same way it has you.


I come to the end of chasing my losses yesterday, and signed up to here. When I think about my losses I have come on here to read your other people's stories, and help me feel at somewhat at ease.


To help me at night, as like you that's when it was affecting me most too.. I have been watching documentaries, or interesting & funny films. It's better to trick your brain into falling asleep rather tossing and turning in bed with your own thoughts.


I can see you haven't been on here for a while, How are you feeling?


Thanks for your response! That is a great idea, I been watching comedy shows at night to help me enjoy my nights. I have been doing much better than expected. Honestly, I have learned to forgive myself and stop chasing my losses. I know that even if I were to win I would still continue betting everyday and lose quality in life. I am glad in a way that I lost because I now enjoy quality time with my gf, friends, and family. Its a big loss to me (17k) but it actually made me realize that gambling is a problem and it has to end. If I were to lose 5k (still a lot) I probably would still be gambling. This is one of my biggest hurdle in life but I can make 17k back most importantly I learned to enjoy the quality of life. When I was gambling, my days felt long, dull, and very dragging. It still comes in my head sometimes at night but I always try to think of the positive things about not gambling and how my life has gotten much better. I still come on here to read other peoples post and relate. I hope this has helped you:) I will be checking regularly


I can relate to you a lot. I don't know how to stop chasing the loss. When you're so far down the rabbit hole it's hard to do anything but dig deeper. I'm not sure how to stop when I keep hoping every little bit I can turn into something to get out of this mess. Any tips for getting financially stable when the debts are so large and overwhelming?



Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums



Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!



Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.



And on that note....



I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you :-)



Take care



The Gambling Therapy Team






PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!


Hi everyone I just got in touch with this site yesterday and I'm just starting this process. I chatted with Harry and he gave me some suggestions that I followed. It is very hard to accept that you have a problem and that I am powerless over it. I told my husband and my supervisor and they are willing to help me with this. I hope you guys can also. So here we go on this journey together.


Hi, I know its a hard thing to get over but admitting it and seeking help is the first step and most crucical. I was in a crisis and submitted this form hoping for feedback. I learned to let it go (although it was in the back of my mind) but after weeks and months I was able to get my life together again by continually doing what I do as usual except this time no gambling involved at all!:) I realized that I miss out so much on life and money loss will be lost. Although I lost 17k... I have a life again and most importantly no more wasted invested time on gambling which I cannot get back.


Hi Shrybinc


its fabulous to see you've followed through with some of the ideas we discussed. It would help you more to start a thread of your own, it gives the community the opportunity to support you and help you come to terms with what you can do, know you need to do and don't want t do.


To start your own thread this link will take you to a page where you can start, please make sure your logged in through or it won't work.


If the above fails this is a little video showing how to start a new thread



Welcome to what I hope is a great new life that we all deserve



Take Care



Harry


Dear Same condition is like that i am facing how can i stop to played unlimited bets with me i did not understand to me lot of time i win money and end to day i lost my all invested money .how i can managed to me


I was on the same boat as you madeforum1. If you read my post, I was winning lots of money everyday even up to 3k a day but in the end of it all. I lost it all back if not more. Even if I was up for a month, I lost it all back within a hour. The point is that gambling is always a sure bet of losing. Realistically we like the adrenaline and feel much better when we have some income from gambling made very easy. But the truth behind it is that we stress over it, lose time over it, and quality of life. I would suggest to try not to gamble at all anymore and enjoy other things in life than money related. Although it is hard but its much better than the burden and stress of losing because there really is no winner. Dont end up in the same situation I was in especially losing a high amount. It was a very very difficult time. Goodluck:)


Hey man,


Just checking in on you. How have you been recently? Hope you're still clean from gambling.


Gambling is an illusion that kills dream.am a victim till this moment and I have lost everything.as I write I have no cent on me because I keep going back to it as a means of winning back but it has destroyed many things my son kings are doing well but am the only one not living a good life .because I am a gambler .my parent are worried everyone is worried but I only know my problem is gambling ,I have lost friends and family and relationship all because of gambling and I don’t think I can ever win $20k back .the problem is where do I start from .i need to learn how to just be happy with what’s I have and take life as it comes gambling can never make you teach in life if it comes it’s a luck and it drags you in the system.


Gambling is like knowing you will be successful and when you get dragged into it . It takes your future away from

You


Hi Donbenny


Why not start your own thread and allow the community to support you ? Its really easy just cick on this link once your signed in