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    • #44617
      Johnny B
      Participant

      This is just a random ramble.  I am aware this is a worldwide site.  I have to say that I get a slight sense of self pity whenever I log on to chat, and there is nobody there.  I feel even more self conscious about my issues, when (considering this is a worldwide site) there isn’t even one person with whom to share time with.  The point of my ramble, is that there are many problem gamblers, obviously very few who want to face the reality of the situation.  I am not looking for anybody to necessarily commiserate with, but it is very helpful to not feel like you are the only one struggling.

      I have been gamble free over six months.  At least once a month, I feel guilty about addressing my situation.  I feel that if I didn’t admit a problem, I could be going on with a “normal” life….Then the reality hits, that if I didn’t face this head on, I would not have much of a life at all.  Quitting gambling is the reason I am able to enjoy much more life with my wife, and the respect I deserve from her.  Respect that I had once taken for granted, and destroyed with my lies and underhanded betrayal of her trust.  This is a tricky situation to  make a cnoscious effort to not do what was once completely “normal” to do.  Some days I feel completely empowered, and others I feel hopeless, and sad.

      I appreciate the positive support from the main stays on this site, but what I worry about is the people who have come on here in desperation, only to never be heard from again.  Maybe it just wasn’t their time to get well.  I want to say a heart felt thank you to all of my gambling therapy stalwarts who are here to lend support to each and everybody who comes aboard, no matter how brief!  Today is a good day, I will not gamble today.  It has been a good stretch, and I look forward to the continuation, and I appreciate the ability to speak my mind, even if it doesn’t make much sense at times!  If you are new and reading this, understand that without GT, I wouldn’t have made it more that a week…but you have to stick with it and take advantage of all this site has to offer.  Go into the chat rooms, speak with others who have lived what you are going through….if not make sure you post on the forums, because all of the voices need to be heard.  You are not alone in your struggles, and even those of us who have been strong, sometimes need a little push in the right direction!

      Thanks for your time!

      Johnny B

    • #44618
      finding_laura
      Participant

      Hey Johnny B! I tend to be on for the 10 or 11pm LONDON time group. I too can spend the hour alone wondering if I am the only CG in the world. In my early days being alone in chat after chat was a terrible feeling. I honestly felt like everyone else was living their life and i was one of the sad few who obviously must be flawed to not be able to gamble responsibly.. However I also think the sad fact that 80 to 90 percent of people with a gambling disorder relapse has a lot to do with the quiet times we go through here. As well as the fact that some move on to more individualized therapy and some after being here for years in recovery move on to other things in their lives. Thankfully there were always a few stalwarts around in the beginning for me too Who would take the time to post some encouraging words.
      Well darn, I was sitting in chat while writing this post and just missed someone! Wish my sound worked and she would have stayed longer than a minute.
      Have you tried to do more of the daytime chats (London time) as they are facilitated? At least you have the facilitator if no one else shows. And Charles can always be good for some insight! He has been there.

      Well done on your 6 months Johnny. I’m really happy for you. It’s good to see you succeeding. Stay committed to your recovery. It will be a balance of living everyday normal life and staying somehow connected to the fact that gambling didn’t improve your life, your marriage or even your personality likely lol. I often say you need to take it out and hold it up to the light now and again, that previous ugly damage. You acknowledge what you don’t want to be and where you don’t want to go and then you put it away and ***** your blessings. If you find yourself having urges then you try and figure out what you can do to ease them. Recovery can take a while and has some mood swings involved. So be kind to yourself too. Well I think I have rambled long enough. Keep posting Johnny. It is good to hear from you.
      Laura

    • #44619
      i-did-it
      Participant

      Hi I just missed you both last night and another person. I feel that the times set are very limiting . In the past you could use the meeting place or your thread and arrange to meet people . Now if you miss the limited time slots (all of which are too late for people who work next day in the UK) you don’t get the opportunity to chat. Yes it has been most unsatisfactory in recent years .

    • #44620
      finding_laura
      Participant

      Not to turn your post into a rant, but I agree with IDI. And no matter how many times people have voiced their frustration at these silly limited time slots, NO ONE AT GT APPARENTLY LISTENS AS NOTHING EVERY CHANGES AND IT WOULD ONLY TAKE A FLICK OF A BUTTON ( not yelling). Apparently there is some special reason why we have to be limited like children. We may not spend time with our families otherwise or take care of other responsibilities. Silly really! Barely any time slots open on the weekends is really frustrating. And being limited to one hour seems to defeat the purpose of having a chat room. You finally hook up with some others and are having a good chat and that’s it folks your hour is up! Thanks for working on your recovery but we’ve decided we’d like to try and force you to post instead for a while and chatting might take away from that. I’ve heard all the silly reasons. And I’m sorry, but something isn’t quite working. Rant over for now. I will once again share my frustrations with GT. Maybe it will be like recovery and something will finally click!
      over and out!

    • #44621
      Paul Dent
      Participant

      Hi all
      Yes we are listening – we do very much monitor what is being discussed and as a rule only “intervene” when necessary. On the whole, the forums have had a very positive feel to them recently but of course we are here to respond / help / support all of you.
      We are constantly looking at how to improve services across both the site and the app but unfortunately cannot usually manage both at the same time. We have upgraded the App and are in the process of including several more languages. When this is complete we can then focus back onto the site which will include looking at the provision of the groups and forums. I hope you can bear with us as we will be looking for feedback as to what you think would improve the service
      Regards
      Paul
      Clinical Manager

    • #44622
      i-did-it
      Participant

      thank you Paul for taking the time to write such a considered and respectful response – The forums have indeed been very positive – and therefore extremely helpful.
      I guess we are all feeling frustrated about the groups as sometimes it’s nice to connect in real time and with groups often being so limited it means either taking time out from what we should be doing (which is something we are trying very hard to change ) or staying up too late .

      I look forward to when groups are on full-time and members can have some element of control over when they meet. I also echo Laura’s point that it does currently feel a little like we are being treated like small kids incapable of making such a decision .

      It seems silly having a meeting place when there is no opportunity to meet !
      Looking forward to the change and many of us have already (last year ) submitted the feedback form on this topic .

      Thank you again .

    • #44623
      finding_laura
      Participant

      Thank you Paul for your response. I do hope you can take our feelings into consideration as this has been requested by myself for years and years actually and I know as well by others. It will great to be able to connect more often or at more convenient times. Hope you can keep that on the radar. Thanks for all you do to help us in our recovery.

      Laura

    • #44624
      Johnny B
      Participant

      I agree.  I think there are very few who stick with the program.  I find gambling therapy to be a very helpful tool to keep me on the straight and narrow.  I see myself in a lot of posts… And I see some which make me feel better about myself in a perverted way (I wish no ill will on anybody).  As long a people are sharing, there is help to be had.  You cannot beat a gambling addiction by keeping it to yourself.  I have never felt more free, as to talk openly about my sitiuation.  Like Charles has said, I don’t have to get into too much detail, just tell people I don’t gamble anymore, because I enjoyed it too much!  I appreciate you and the others who are on here lending support…it means more than you can possibley realize.

      I have done the chats with the moderators, and they are helpful.  Sometimes I feel I am a little boring because of the status quo, but I think that is where the success is.  Make the status quo the norm, stay away from the relapse.  Unfortunately, I agree that many people relapse, and maybe are ashamed.  I am sure I would be.  Letting myself down was one of the worst feelings about my gambling issue.  If you can’t trust yourself, who can you trust.  But we have to carry on, and do the right things!!

      Thanks again for your response!

    • #44625
      finding_laura
      Participant

      Hey Johnny, I think boring old status quo when it comes to not gambling is good but I totally undestand.  I drifted away from GT after several clean years because I just didn’t feel like I fit anymore.  But that hurt me in the long run as I relapsed after 5 and a half years of clean time.  I think we need to maintain some type of support, most of us anyway.  So I guess now I have decided I am here for me. To remind myself everyday.  Working on a year clean and gambling is the furthest thing from my mind these days!  Have a good gamble free day Johnny.  Laura

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