Good day all
On December 5 2019 i have gambled and lost money on roulette machines and these machine are everywhere you go in the street corners bars casinos etc even right next door to where i live there is one. I have been struggling to stop gambling over a period of time and i find myself going again. i am facing a demon head on and i am gonna win this battle. i am gonna conquer this monster in my mind. Today Friday 06th December 2019 I am going keep this
journal. It is a downward spiral that i am facing my wife is fed up and she decided she had enough and she filed for divorce. now i am left alone to fend for myself.
I will be losing my son to this horrible addiction. yes we tried therapy counseling etc. never remained committed and it failed. Now I see myself in this trap not wanting to leave the house to go anywhere. My wife was fed up of all the lies and stealing I did over the years in that destructive addiction.
I understand how she feels yet I am compel to go and gamble next door at that roulette machine. I admit i have a gambling problem. I admit It is a weakness. its has power and the
mind cannot with stand it. I have been faced with a lot of words that breaks my spirit and it feels like there no hope for me. I observe the way gambling does to myself as it pertains to health and well being. Heart diseases and diabetic problem are on a rise. I have not distracted myself away from gambling I need help in those areas like a child i need someone to pull me out of this rut. Yes I am 37 but the mind feels to be a child to help myself to overcome this. I will stay on this forum
and be thankful for the comments made.