Day four

Day four without gambling.  Getting really hard the urge is now hitting me.  I am barrading myself in the house to stay away from everything that got me in this mess.  I am very grateful for the support of all in my life.  Without them, I don't think I will be here.  I am going to get help to calm my nerves.  The wait of what will happen with my work is also killing me.  I had my first GA meeting today.  All the people were very nice and welcome me with open arms and told me I am not the only one in this situation.  I am meeting with my counslor on Tuesday for the first time.  I am so nervous about the meeting.  I am afraid to find out what is causing this horrible sickness in me.  I have not been myself for the past 9 months.  I have became a wonderful lier and cover everything up.  I am not coming clean with all and feel some relief.  I have alot of strentgh behing me to help.  All I need to do is look at my eight year old son, and think what would he do without me.  I hope someday he will understand and never never do this on his own.  At least someday I will see how this problem started and hope I can pick up any type of addiction that comes my way.
Thanks for all the support of fellow gamblers on line.  You are all great people and I hope that we can help each other out with this addiction.  You have been very supportive to me and I appreciate it all.  Keep up the hard work so we can live a happy and more fun lifeI want to have my life back