Finally ready to be honest.
This is my first post. And it's kind of a big one. I have a secret. Like a deep, dark, disgusting,
make you cringe and shake your head in disbelief secret. I have a gambling problem.
Ok. So I'm on a gambling therapy site, not a big surprise then that I would say I have a gambling problem. I think most of us
here do. That's not the secret. My secret is that most of the money I have used to gamble with has been an inheritance that
was left to me, and I am supposed to share with my siblings. Unfortunately, there is not too much left. I gambled it all.
No one else knows this secret except for you, so I hope I can trust you with it.
Let me give you a bit of background on the story... I am the oldest of 4 children, 1 of whom is handicapped. My father passed away
11 years ago from cancer. It was hard to watch but I was in my 20's, not at home and although it was very difficult, I seemed to make it
out ok. Fast forward to a few years when I find out my mom now has cancer. This time, I am very involved. My mom is my best friend.
I am driving to and from appointments, making arrangements for what is next. Having her sign a will the NIGHT before she passes away.
I am left as estate trustee to deal with this mess. Of course things don't run super smooth and I am only 35 and I don't know what I'm doing
and all this is a lot. Luckily, things do start to work in my favour and I get $30,000 life insurance policy. This is where it starts.
I know this is my money but I don't feel I can go out and spend it on anything fancy as my sisters didn't get any money, so I think well what can I do.
I can gamble. This is how it starts. I slowly work my way through this $30,000. Gambling is fun. It is a distraction. I don't have to think about the unsettled business of the estate or burying my parents, etc. Then the house sells. Now I have $150,000. Perfect I think. I can use some of that money to "win"
back the other money I have lost. I think you know where my story is heading..
I'm trying to be brief and somewhat concise because the story is a long complicated one, but anyways.. It's been 2 years Mom died. I have only $65,000
left in the account (which I know seems like so much) but the estate is not settled yet, there is possibly some still owing taxes I will need to pay (mom said she owed $30,000 in debt) and I am worried if I don't get some help soon there will be nothing left to pay the debts and nothing left to give my siblings.
That is what I feel the worst about. Nobody knows how much money there was but unfortunately, I've gambled so much that there is not going to be
as much as there should be for everyone. I don't know how I will explain it if there is nothing left.
Ugh. I'm a smart person. I know I shouldn't gamble. I've tried to stop before but get bored easily, lie to myself easily and tend to wind up
back at the casino before you know it wagering up to $20/spin.
Do you think it's possible to fix this, fix myself, without telling anyone? My spouse knows I have a bit of a problem, but not to the full extent.
He also doesn't ask, so..
September is a new month. I'm at the point where I have "just" enough to possibly get out of this mess. I am READY FOR A CHANGE.
Today is day one.
Thank you for reading.