First time I try to do really something about it

Hi everyone. This is the first time I try to help myself, by trying to keep a diary, and hoping that my desire to

stay away from this poison, will be strong enough. I feel good about it. And that's because I have always

tried to hide this problem. Now I have decided to come out in the open. Any help, advice or encouragement

are more than welcome. Thanks.


Congrats on making this bold step in admitting this habit. Now to continue on this pathway of recovery you gonna discover yoir self worth. Self talk, mirror talk and keeping a journal. I am stepping into my 12 days free from it all. After 5 years of misery i am enjoying better health and an incredible life from this moment on. Thank you for sharing. You gonna have an super fantastic life. Stop chasing lossez. Focus on a poitive.stay blessed my fren. You can follow my journal on thi


Hi welcome.

There is always support here whenever you need it. Hopefully you can be inspired by other people's journals.

Have you excluded from wherever you gamble?

Try not to be too harsh on yourself and treat it as a life lesson. It will be hard but just take one day at a time and come here whenever you get the urge to gamble.

You can do this stay strong.


Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums


Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!


Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.


As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)


And on that note....


I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you :-)


Take care


The Gambling Therapy Team



PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!


You said "hoping that my desire to stay away from this poison, will be strong enough."


I hope you desire is strong too, but I know it will not be enough on its own. In order to stop - you will need to do 4 things.


1) Lose access to gambling. As others have said put blocks on your devices - bar yourself from physical locations where you gamble. Make it as hard as you can to actually gamble.


2) Lose access to finance. If you can, get someone else (a loved one or trusted friend) to handle your finances for you - until you are strong enough to do so yourself. Keep your personal float as small as possible - just for the essentials.


3) Get great support around you. Again, if it is possible - open up to people who you know will support you. See if there is self-help (Gamblers' Anonymous or similar) in your area. Ask at your medical centre for counselling support.


4) Find something else (non - gambling) to do with your time. When the urges come (and they will) ensure you have something else - no matter how trivial - that will take your mind off gambling. Netflix gets mentioned a lot on this forum. I now take long walks!


Yes keep posting here to let us know how you are progressing and read around the site as there is a treasure chest of stories, ideas and suggestions that you can make the most of.

I wish you well.


Day 1. Went to work, business as usual. Well, yeah, it's kind of easy now, when I hit the rock bottom, as there are no money left. I know the challenge will come when the salary will be in my account. So far, I can say that it's good to be busy, keeps the bad thoughts away.

Thanks everyone for the support, it's good to know I am not alone in this. So far, I did excluded myself from the site where I used to gamble. I know that is just peanuts. I can't afford for the moment to buy software like Gamban, or any other. I can't talk to anyone, as I am quite alone, I have no friends (no wonder, after a lifetime of gambling). Around my place are no such things like Gamblers Anonymous. I feel kinda reluctant to go to a medical centre. Might cost a lot, and I'm not sure if the insurance is covering this type of things.

So I have to do it all by myself. I just need to find the right way, even though deep in my mind, some voice says it's too late. All the time when everything was running well in my life, I was my one and only enemy, always hitting my head, just to ask myself afterwards, why I did it? What was missing there? And every time finding answers that sound like excuses: boredom, rage, lack of love, escaping from daily routine, and on and on...But I want to make it right. I hope I will succeed. Thanks again guys


Bro continue to be thankful. Please observe your thought patterns. The words that you are saying about yourself. Words are powerful use it to your advantge. Start saying words of affirmations. You are an amazing person. You recognize the ill feelings and you found this website. Be thankful brother. There are people in this forum that will pour good advice along your progress. Keep posting. Most of all be positive and be grateful. Thank you for sharing. And its gonna be the start of your new life of self worth. Continue on this pathway of self recovery and healing of the mind. Focus on rewiring your mind to break this cycle. Live your life in the moment. Watch videos on youtube Soldiers of Self Mastery by Santos Rolon Jr. It helps alot. He has over 1000 videos that he talks abt gambling addiction. Do have a bless week ahead. Look forward to day 2 


I feel for you.  When I first wanted to stop - it made me realise how few real friends I had - because, as you say, after decades of gambling - which is a loner's game, I had no-one close enough to open up to, never mind hand finances to.


It is possible to do this alone.  It is far more difficult - so if you can find local support go for it.  If there are no GA groups - there may be groups for all addictions which will help.  Please investigate the counselling option.  Again having this kind of support is invaluable - do the research, don't just write it off as not possible without checking.  If you can let us know which country you are in - you may find people on here that can give more local advice.



If you can't find anything locally - then please check out the support groups on this site - there is a timetable where you can see times in GMT and adjust to your timezone.  On Mondays and Thursdays (tonight) there are facilitated groups for new members.   There are also "live meetings" on the internet from other organisations such as SMART and some facebook groups.



Basically get as much suppport as you can.  Gambling is lonely and the way to stop is to befriend people and let them help you in the early stages.  You can of course pay back when you are stronger by helping others.  I wish you well.


Day 2. Feeling reeally depressed. I just don't feel like talking or share. Work colleagues were trying to cheer me up, but it just didn't work. I simply hope tomorrow will be a better day. Thanks again for all your support


...there is no quick fix for this addiction, Ady.

We can't go over, under or around it. We need to move through it.

It can be slow. I can be bleak.

It can be painful but I can assure you that , although you don't see it now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Be patient.

Keep posting.


Feeling calm and cool. Got some pocket money, don't feel any urge. Climbing out slowly from that slope. Hope is there, alive. Hard to deal with the thoughts about money. At this point, all thoughts are connected with money, and how to get out of it.

About patience, I never considered it a virtue. But it is. And about this search for a support group nearby, it's not that easy, I am living in a different country than mine. However, I feel strong enough to handle it by myself. And being here, helps already a lot. Thank you


Hi Ady,

I’m not sure if someone has mentioned this but you can get a free trial with Gamban which will give you a few weeks until

You can afford to buy it.


I remember often feeling gamban was too expensive and yet I had no difficulty finding the money to gamble once I got paid . It certainly has given me freedom.


I look after my own finances as do many people one here . I have however ordered a new bank card and had a friend scratch off the final three numbers at the back. This means I can no longer use the card online but it will still work in shops.


These are a few things which I hope will be helpful to put in place before you next get money . The feeling of having money in the bank is so much better than any feeling gambling ever gave us - it’s just a matter of getting past the first few paydays.


Keep strong Adi - the thoughts about money will subside and yes it takes great patience at the start but you can do it .


Today the urge knocked in, but after 5 min. of debate and a veery tough talk to myself, I managed to kick it away. I just hope I don't have to do this every single day. I am very much aware that is just a small win, just a small fight, but the battle will be long and hard. But I feel so good about it and proud of myself. Now I have 2 days off, tomorrow I plan to clean the room. Day after tomorrow I have to look for some present. Got to stick with the plan.

Thanks for the advice with the Gamban, but the payments back that have to be done, are far more urgent. As soon as I will have the chance, I will do it. Is just about prioritizing. Many bills to be paid.

Waiting for that paycheck.

And thank you for the encouragement. It does help


Yesterday I went to buy some presents. Didn't find exactly what I was looking for, but in the end it came out ok. The feeling that I am able to do thar was sooo good. The urge was there, a few thoughts pumped in, but this was an easy debate. I couldn't let myself be ashamed in front of my colleagues at work. So I just went on pretending like I didn't pay attention to what was going on in my gambler's mind. In the end I bought presents even for persons that I am not so close. I ended up with some small change in my pocket, but feeling good.

Merry Christmas to everyone! May the holidays bring you joy and happiness...and lots of inner strength.


Hi Ady

Hope you had a great Christmas !


Yes, there were some relapses, but all in all, I am satisfied with what went on. I find myself being strong enough not to give in completely. I can do this. It will be done. Some day I will look at this with pride.

Love you all, be strong


This journal will record all the struggle and challenges you face moving forward. It is your life story in recovery. You cannot see it now, but a few years later, you can read what it was like in the beginning. It will be a treasure of information for you. Enjoy your journey. One baby step at a time. One day at a time. Cheers!


Ok, so this is our real chance to do something about it. The question here is: how will we maintain this external ban, when it comes to keep those habits away?

What if, and if, when the normal life will return, we will just go back to our damaging habits?

We have to use this imposed jail time to reflect and self suggesting, not to go back to what we used to do, but to use this as a chance for new, clean, and self preserving state of mind.

All of us can think how nice it would have been to have some finance put aside for this kind of times, rainy days, war, or any other kind of emergency, (in this case, pandemic).

Let's use this, my friends, for a reset.

Have a glass of wine, enjoy and contemplate the view, but be aware and show compassion, the world goes into another era...


It sounds like you are doing fine? And have time for some reflection?


This sudden worldwide virus seems to slow the economy down quite a bit. Four months ago I could afford to be unemployed for like a year...I would not have cared much...Now I feel a bit anxious, I could lose my job and would not be able to survive for more than 3 months. The chance of getting a new job gets slimmer every day...Before I thought I could get a job tomorrow if I tried...Not sure now.

It really makes my regret even bigger! It all depends..perhaps it's all over in a few months and I'll do fine but clearly this thing should make it even more clear that gambling is something I did in my past.


Exactly, it should make it clear that is something that we did in our past, and it should stay that way, in the past. Of course future will look much different than we thought. And about jobs, I certainly hope there will be plenty, still. The one thing I wanted to point out is how stupid I was to not save something, and it's even more scary when I think about my age. But until I will rest in peace, I will still try to fight this mental disease. I just want to try to enjoy the moment and reflect in peace, maybe even make some future plans, scenarios, good ones, where gambling is banned all over, and risking doesn't have to mean "all in", but a calculated one, not leaning on pure luck. Stay healthy, that's all that matter now.