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sounds like a plan. Just for today I will not gamble. I have too much to live for and too many choices to waste. Laura
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I talked about this in group last night about how we hve changed in recovery, and I have no doubt that I have changed, I too feel a lot more nervous and anxious than I ever did. I really feel it but fake it till I make it. I don’t know why this is, but I have just noticed it more and feel my feelings more. I even wondered whether I have a form of OCD, ie obsessive Thoughts that lead to anxiety. This is where positive affirming thoughts about ourselves help.
As to feeling like a fraud, I think everyone has felt this at times. I think if we could see into all our,work colleagues thoughts and issues we might be very surprised, that we are by no means alone feeling what we do.
Well done in remaining gamble free. -
will be back to post, I am in group now! 🙂
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Life is unbelievably hectic! As I am slightly paranoid about my anonymity I don’t feel I can share here. I fully intended to post last night but was interrupted. Most of it is good though! I’m just rolling with it. Everything you are doing as you come back from this life sucking addiction is making a difference. It is adding up. You are growing from all of this. And at some point,maybe even now, you can look back and see how far you’ve come. I hope you did treat yourself. Ttyl, Laura
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Sounds great idi in regard to your garden. I am seeing such big positive changes in you in recovery which will yield its blessings.
Onwards and upwards. -
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Thanks for the post on my thread. Appreciated.
Where did you get the outfits from? I could use some cost effective style advice! I am cutting out sweets and chocolate too but realise that I have sugar cravings frequently, well daily. Well done on losing the weight! takes ages for me to lose weight, how long have you been doing the healthy diet? -
So great to read about your garden and how you plan to spend your “saved time and money”. I honestly think when we are addicted we are a bit like the hamster on a wheel. Our brains just go in circles. Gamble, lose, think about how to get more money to gamble, gamble, win, gamble, gamble, gamble, lose. Once we get some gamble free time in where we are sincerely working our recovery I think the hamster finally gets off the wheel and starts to think about better things! Enjoy your relaxation time together. Having a haven to come home to where a person is loved and supported can be a great springboard for life. I absolutely love flowers and used to have beds full of them. Now I have downsized but I still will do up several gorgeous planters for my huge deck. I have large but cheap plastic pots I refill every year. A few bags of Miracle Gro and a variety of cheap but colourful annuals and I’ll have colour all summer. I love this time of year as things are greening up here. I adore the wildlife that frollicks in my back yard. Rabbits, foxes, woodpeckers, finches and chickadees. Life is good. No room for gambling! Have a great night xo
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lol, I love me some jewelry too! I’ve been so home bound before my surgery I didn’t get to where nice things. I was in too much pain to care about what I looked like. It’s nice to feel like dressing up a little. I have the energy and stamina to stand in front of a mirror now and put on some makeup and do my hair some days. You know it makes me happy to see how well you are doing. Someone to share the benefits of recovery with maybe multiplies the happiness. Have a good weekend. I will like be on the 2pm chat tomorrow if you are around and not busy. Otherwise enjoy your Saturday!
Laura -
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I-did-it, Great post! My urges happen less often and I recognize my triggers. I’m glad that we are gamble free. Life is a lot better! The support here is amazing and a big part of my recovery. Has it been extremely quiet here lately? I hope you have a great day!
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Been busy but not too busy to say hi! Hope to catch you soon for a good chat.
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We become so much more aware of our feelings I think and self reflect a lot more. See my post today trying to examine why I had urges yesterday. It is small things during the course of our day that can have an effect.
And yes, writing is therapeutic for us even if it makes us feel uncomfortable I think it helps us to express it. Catch up soon. -
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Hi IDI,
sorry, I lost touch for a week! I was busy enjoying my gamble free life visiting with cousins and aunts and uncles. Lunches out and girls night slumber parties with drinks and food and childhood memories. I was barely online and died every night my head hit the pillow. Quiet times here can be good, when it means most of us who have been here struggling are doing well. But we know there will always be someone else who will come by needing to know they are not alone. Enjoy that peace and happiness. Life may not be perfect, it will have ups and downs and anxious moments, but, look at you now 🙂 I should be around for group tonight if there is one at 10. If not I’ll try for the 11. Have a good evening xo
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I have just uploaded the rest of the documents of me holding my passport so 27th important day for me too. Most of the big stuff in my life happened on the 27th. I,hope in 5 years time we can look,and see where we are and have a virtual glass of champers in the Dominican Republic lol.
Well done, this is an important milestone in keeping gambling free. -
Well done both of you on this big milestone!! So good to connect in chat IDI.
Just reading your post regarding moving home. That would be a big change for sure. I can only tell you that when I go home I have some family that haven’t gotten together since the last time I was home. My coming seems to draw them together because I ask to see them!
Just sharing, my addictions counselor had advised me not to make a big change in my life (such as marital status, big move etc) for a year if possible. Exceptions to the rul of course but I think it’s because of all of the moods swings and realizations we go through as we deal with our addiction.
You will get where you want to go. It may just take a little time. You are still raising your family which is an expense! I am just gaining new financial options as my fledglings either start helping pay their way or will be getting shoved out of the nest lol
Have a great week! Hopefully touch base. Laura xo
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I need a new bed but I won’t do it till I know I have more money coming in than the six weeks work. I too have realised why I rarely buy things for the home and it is because of my skint earlier life and time spent living in squats where the decor and furniture was rather humble and meagre to say the least. I am going to change this habit so we are both doing the same things! . Pete has helped me clear a lot of clutter from my bedroom but I have a long way to go yet in the house. And none of it worth anything unless anyone wants a few years old monsoon clothes that are rarely worn or get it home, don’t like it sort of thing and never wear it. I do this a lot less than I did years ago though so that’s a change for the better. Aha, I have books, there is a site on the internet that takes books, 20 of my old books that I will never read are worth 20 quid. I got the packing stuff and never sent them cos I couldn’t carry them to the nearest site. But text books can go for a few bob.
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One more day to a gamble free May.
Sounds a good way to solve two problems at once IDI, selling your unwanted things for cash.
I don’t have much to sell. But slowly I am winning the fight to declutter. Most of the main floor has been done for a while now, but my bedroom could use a bit more decluttering, and I could get rid of paper from my office I’m sure. The basement level is a whole other story.
Keep at it girls. You will get there!
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I think I awakened from my gambling to remember that I am worthy and I can achieve what I set my mind to (understanding certain limitations like physical disability). I think it was being beaten down by life that made gambling the escape for me that it was.
You deserve a thread that is for you and for your progress. And yes this did remind me of those month long pacts but I understand now that my recovery is about me and up to me. I also know that having the unfailing support of other here helps me to stay gamble free. So a pact with you and Monica and whoever else thought it might help them I was ok with.
Tools. We need lots of tools in our tool box. We don’t all carry the same tool box nor should we need to. Here’s to another gamble free day. We will each have our own journey but it’s good to share sections of the path. Laura
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Your thread should be a journal of your recovery and experiences. Even though we all have the common thread of gambling, our life experiences and journeys are different. I look at my thread as a journal that I can re-read and learn from. It shows me how far I’ve come and my growth. You deserve a good life and happiness! Congrats on another gamble free month! You are doing awesome.
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