Getting it together
I’m 31yrs old who lives in Las Vegas, not an easy place to live for gamblers including myself. I would always tell myself that it wouldn’t happen again. It went on like this for years, it was more recreational in the beginning. Sports bet here, machine games as well. I had the power to stop whenever I wanted, I would never lose more than 50 dollars. As time went, I would even play machines at the grocery store, which is where I hit my first jackpot. I would be up over 1k and lose it all plus what I had in my account which was never that much. I would be late paying my rent, to out payday cash loans which I’m still repaying back. Ruined my credit. Fast forward a couple of years, to where I met my wife. I told myself then that I would control my gambling that it wouldn’t control me. In the beginning it worked, but of course I failed again. I would sneak away to go gamble instead of spending time with her. Then we got pregnant, I thought that would put a stop to my gambling, it didn’t. I would cry on my drive home after losing money knowing that I let my son and wife down, she had no idea that my gambling was such a problem. I felt so ashamed, we all know that feeling. Somehow I managed to make things worse, I started cheating on my wife. It turned into a pattern, every time I would lose a good amount of money I would seek out this women to make myself feel better. This went on for about 2yrs, this is the darkest part of my life that I’m ashamed of. My wife found out about this cheating not too long ago, just over 3months, about 1 week before quarantine began. I came clean about the gambling and eventually the cheating. I felt a sense of relief when I told her about my gambling problems, that is the first time anyone knew I had a problem. She’s a wife that I don’t deserve, and I want to prove to her that I’m still the man she married. I haven’t gambled since the NBA shutdown, I feel great. I know I have her support in every way. I wanted to join this group to get additional support because I don’t want to relapse ever again, which I know it’s easier said than done. I know since we are in quarantine there isn’t much temptation, which helps. I’m here to get better and hopefully also help anyone else get better. Asking for help was the hardest part for me, but here I am. Writing this is a huge accomplishment for me, together we can beat gambling!!