Getting it together

I’m 31yrs old who lives in Las Vegas, not an easy place to live for gamblers including myself. I would always tell myself that it wouldn’t happen again. It went on like this for years, it was more recreational in the beginning. Sports bet here, machine games as well. I had the power to stop whenever I wanted, I would never lose more than 50 dollars. As time went, I would even play machines at the grocery store, which is where I hit my first jackpot. I would be up over 1k and lose it all plus what I had in my account which was never that much. I would be late paying my rent, to out payday cash loans which I’m still repaying back. Ruined my credit. Fast forward a couple of years, to where I met my wife. I told myself then that I would control my gambling that it wouldn’t control me. In the beginning it worked, but of course I failed again. I would sneak away to go gamble instead of spending time with her. Then we got pregnant, I thought that would put a stop to my gambling, it didn’t. I would cry on my drive home after losing money knowing that I let my son and wife down, she had no idea that my gambling was such a problem. I felt so ashamed, we all know that feeling. Somehow I managed to make things worse, I started cheating on my wife. It turned into a pattern, every time I would lose a good amount of money I would seek out this women to make myself feel better. This went on for about 2yrs, this is the darkest part of my life that I’m ashamed of. My wife found out about this cheating not too long ago, just over 3months, about 1 week before quarantine began. I came clean about the gambling and eventually the cheating. I felt a sense of relief when I told her about my gambling problems, that is the first time anyone knew I had a problem. She’s a wife that I don’t deserve, and I want to prove to her that I’m still the man she married. I haven’t gambled since the NBA shutdown, I feel great. I know I have her support in every way. I wanted to join this group to get additional support because I don’t want to relapse ever again, which I know it’s easier said than done. I know since we are in quarantine there isn’t much temptation, which helps. I’m here to get better and hopefully also help anyone else get better. Asking for help was the hardest part for me, but here I am. Writing this is a huge accomplishment for me, together we can beat gambling!!

Hi Learning 70 and welcome to the forums. Well done on looking for help. You can stop gambling I promise you. Yes there is a lot of gambling in Vegas of course. The good news is that there is also a LOT of support available. 146 Gamblers Anonymous meetings the last time I heard.

You can stop gambling. Some of the things that will help you do so are the same things that can help rebuild trust etc with your wife. Not words of promises though, no reason for her to believe them. My family were the same - they had heard my BS before. Actions though they took notice of. Actions like getting to those GA meetings, like getting banned from casinos ( Yes I know you can't ban from all in Vegas, get banned form your usual/favourite ones though, remove your "comfort zone") Actions like being accountable as well - no money = no gambling. Being accountable would mean your wife would know you weren't gambling and help rebuild trust - would still be your money of course but she would see you a) weren't gambling or, let's be blunt, b) anything else you shouldn't be doing.

Keep posting, connect to the groups or helpline, download the App. Their is a Friends and Family Forum and groups as well, your wife might find that useful.

Hopefully see you in a group soon and I look forward to hearing about the positive actions you are taking.

I know that was not easy for you to come clean. Facing our demons, our problems are so difficult, but good for you! You should be proud of yourself and with that, the first step is born. I still have my skeletons in my closet, and I try very hard to keep them there.

Keep in contact with this forum as it seems pretty legit with honesty and truths from gamblers all over.

Knowing you have a wife and son who loves you should carry you most of the way, but staying in check will also help you.

Thank you for coming clean and posting about it. You can beat this!!!!