I have hit rock bottom.....

.......it is a sign it's time.
Hi, my name is jj and I have decided that yesterday would be my last day in a casino.

I started gambling  9 years ago (2001) after my mother passed away. I most likely started out as most, playing slot machines with $100 a day and that was more than enough and I usually would walk away with money.

Then within a year I learned how to play craps and BJ and rarely touched a machine.

I was very discliplined and would walk awayy when I doubled my money. I was able to go back to Vegas 3-4X's a year with the origional bankroll. I was getting all the comped rooms, food, shows, limos, anything I asked for.

This went on for a few years and everything was fine.

2004 was about the time I would estimate when I started to spiral downward.

I was making great money at work, I had 3 horses and $20,000.00 trailer a big duley truck and a Harley I paid $10,000.00 cash for and another $10,000.00 in customizing. I owned a house(well, me and the bank).

Before I knew what was happening, I was going to Vegas 5-6X's/month and Alantic City just about the same amount.

I remember the first trip I came home without any money I thought, I need to go back and win my money. It didn't happen.

I am now late on every bill and borrowing money from credit cards. The first thing I sold was my horse trailer with a $8,000.00 loss. That got me back even on my bills. I thought I would never do that again and was grateful I had the trailer to sell. I felt good as I got out of it myself.

The next thing I knew, I was booking my flights to Vegas, I mean after all, I am up to date on all of my bills and I have a bankroll saved. I came home from that trip with no money.

I now have put my $20,000.00 Harley on ebay and sold it for $7,000.00. I met the guy who bought it on the way to Atlantic City, told him cash only and I was at the tables within an hour. I left the next morning with no money, no Harley.

I am now trying to decide which horse to sell, I have been riding since I was 6 yrs. old and selling one of my horses was hard to do, but the gambling urge was worse. I sold one, two and finally my last horse. Now I have all this equipment and tack I don't need, so that all went on ebay( along with my motorcycle gear).

It is now 2006 and I have taken out a 2nd mortgage on my house to fund my gambling trips. I thought, this is great..I can pay my bills with what I make bartending. Of course it wasn't enough and I had to dip into my bill money.

The next thing I knew, I am being forclosed on by the 2nd mortgage company. By now my credit cards are all maxed and my payments are late or not paid. The only option I had left was to try to sell my house before the forclosure goes through.

My house did sell and we went to closing 1 week before the foreclosure. The economy was good and after paying off all of my debt, I had $60,000.00 profit. I took $20,000.00 to Vegas and came home with nothing. This was a bit of a eye opener to me and I didn't gamble for what seemed like a long time( maybe 2-3 months).

I rented an apt. for my son and I (he is now 17 and a senior in HS)

Then my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me and I was out of control once again. I was able to keep it in check for 2 more years and then the local casino (which was slots only) got tables. That was June on this last summer. By Sept. I knew we were being evicted out of our apt., the elec. had been cut off along with the cable and out cell phones.

I called my sister and told her the economy just finally got me and we needed to move in with her until I can get back on my feet. My plan was to not gamble and pay off all my bills.

This was just four months ago and now my gambling is worse than ever. I made 1 payment on all of my bills and the rest of my money I have gambled away.

I went to my casino Monday night and stayed over. I brought a friend of mine. In the morning when I woke up, she asked how I did at the tables and I had no memory of my last couple hours at the tables because of the drinking* I do whle gambling, but I knew without looking I was out of money. That is when I decided this is it. I broke down and told my friend how bad my gambling was. She was in shock but very supportful(is that a word?).

I confided in another good friend at work to start a support system there. My next step  and hardest so far is to tell my sister. My plan is to give her my cash everynight and have her pay my bills and help me save.

*I am quiting drinking also.
Today is truley the first day of the rest of my life.

I have read the stories on here and I know I am not alone.

Thank you in advance for the support I know I will recieve here.
jj