You won’t regret making this move.
If the relationship is meant to last, this could be just what he needs to bring him to his senses . An active CG is impossible to live with. The confusion and chaos they create is , as you say, HELL!
I know this because I am a CG.
The “love”you felt has turned to fear, which is the direct opposite of love.
Give him time to chill. He is bullying you and that will have a bad effect on your 3 year old child.
Don’t worry. CGs are survivors.
This might be the exact treatment he needs to get him to turn his life around.
Next step is LOOK AFTER YOURSELF.
Stay strong and stay close to this site. Lots of help/support available.
Gambling is not about money, although money is the thing that highlights the problem.

The biggest thing, ( in my opinion ), that you can do to help your boyfriend is to stop enabling him.

Even though you were looking after his cards and online banking, the occasional £10 here and there was keeping his addiction alive and bubbling. I am not saying that it’s your fault, of course it is not. And I think it highly unlikely you are/were his only enabler. Personally I think you have done the best possible thing for all three of you.

I don’t think anyone can live a comfortable life when living with a CG. ( An active one).

I do not think for one minute you have done the wrong thing, however tough it might be if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t even consider taking him back until you can see that he acknowledges his problems and starts taking steps to get himself sorted out.

Neither would I pressure him to seek treatment although if he decides to contact you a gentle nudge in the right direction might just help.

Like Vera, I am also a CG. Believe me we can all be very devious, the masters of manipulation and deceit. What ever the future holds for him nothing is your fault you have tried your very best to help him.

In my eyes, I’m afraid to say, it may be sometime before he seeks help, if at all. But for your sake and the sake of your little one I KNOW it would be futile trying to rekindle your relationship until he does start to look for help.

I know it will be of little comfort to you when I say “time is a great healer” but if he doesn’t seek help, you will eventually one day get over this break up and probably consider it a lucky escape. I hope that is not the case for you, but it is a very real possibility.

You have acted with great strength and courage and I applaud you for that.

Although it’s hard to accept, I’m sure you’re well aware that there’s very little else you can do to help him.

Take care, and if you haven’t already done so, please try and get to one of the F+F support groups.

Wishing you well.

Geordie.

What a brave thing you have done.
Cg’s are very manipulative, so you need to be prepared.
You also need to take a breath. I would imagine your head is in a whirlwind at the moment, don’t panic too much, I know you are overwhelmed, but you are going to be ok.
I am sure that your cg does know that his gambling is a problem, but the addiction will not let him stop and is on full defence. This could be the wake up call he needs.
Hes going to try everything to try to get back into your good graces.
The anger, well, that’s not surprising. Youre not giving in and he doesn’t like it. You are standing up to him and he doesn’t like it. He cant gamble and he doesn’t like it!!!!!
I gambled for 15 years. We lost our home (had to sell it) and I kept gambling. When I stopped it wasn’t because I was kicked out, or my husband had left me. It was simply because I could no longer look at myself in the mirror. I could not stop feeling violently ill. I wanted and needed to stop because I believed if I didn’t I was going to die. I was dying, the person I had been was gone, replaced by this sick, lying, sneaky person who I could no longer stand.
That’s when I stopped.
Maybe if my husband had left me I may have stopped earlier, who knows? What I do know is that this addiction can be managed, I stopped gambling, and your partner can too. Unfortunately, he wont until he is ready.
You need to look after yourself and your little boy.
Don’t lose yourself in all of this.
You WILL be ok.
Time can work wonders.
Take care Frankie.
Love K xx

Hi Frankie
Please use your other thread, you are getting replies and on it and it is confusing trying to cover 2 threads.
Velvet