I want to quit but how do i stop chasing my losses?
I am new here and wish to seek advice on how to stop this habit that has been chipping away at my sanity. I have lost 10k in online football betting, and want to quit. However, I can't stop obsessing over my losses and what I could have done with the money (e.g. going for a nice family holiday, getting stuff for my wife etc.).
To share a little on my story, the reason I created an online betting account was actually just to try my luck on the weekly lottery. It was always a longshot, but after a relative hit it big and won about 800k, i decided to give it a go. Unfortunately, the same lottery site also offered online football betting, which I thought would be an easy side income. I was up 5k within the first few weeks, but slid into a loss of 2k, then 3k. This was the turning point because i was devasted when iI first lost the 3k. I panicked, cried, and wanted to come clean to my wife. But it was also at this point when i became desensitised to my losses. But I decided to buck up and chase my losses. My wins were always followed by greater losses as I rushed to chase the money I lost. I saw my losses grew from 2k, to 3k, 5k, 8k, and now I am sitting here today with a total loss of 10k. What scares me is that I even dreamt about losing our entire savings and committing suicide. The entire suicide just played out in my dream, and that was unsettling to say the least.
I have a good job and bring home about $6k a month, and I am not in debt. However, the 10k accounts for half our savings. She doesn't know about my gambling habit and i have no intention to tell her as I know it will break all trust between us. We have no major purchases or expenses coming up, so I can keep this under wraps as long as I can stop.
I have thought long and hard about this and I KNOW I must stop. I believe I can stop gambling, but the biggest issue is I can't stop obesessing over the 10k lost and what i could have done with it. I am the type of person who would think twice or more about major a purchase about $500, yet there I am having gambled away 10k of our savings like an idiot.
How can i stop thinking about my losses? I have read advice telling people to just accept that the money is lost and won't ever return, but how? I just can fathom. Help.