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As of this writing I am about six months gamble free. My wife and I just returned from a Southern Carribbean cruise, celebrating her birthday, and our two year wedding anniversary. This was made possible by me taking control of my life for the first time ever. Over 30 years of gambling, never doing anything fun, without guilt….Not having special, and new purchaces, because the money just poured out. There was never enough…. because I lost it all. But after just six short months of contributing to the household like a true partner should do, we were able to afford to take a special trip, and have enough “saved” to pay for the excursions, and trinkets, and the smile of my loving wife, knowing I am doing the right things.
She made me promise that this would be a gamble free vacation, because in the past, the gambling always got in the way. The loss of money that could go to better things, the going overboard, and losing way more than the allotted amount. And the ruing of what should have been a good time. This time was different, this time was easy. Not just easy, because I have been behaving myself, but easy to look through fresh eyes at what is going on in the gambling world.
Everybody knows that there are casinos on cruise ships, as a matter of fact they are right smack in the middle of everything, so you cannot avoid them. We were on a Southern Carribean cruise, and there were several casinos in every one of the Islands we visited. I didn’t have the urges of old. I recognize that I have begun to retrain my brain. I even had “free play” on the ship, that I just simply passed on, because what good would it do me? Why should I take a chance on ruining what I have worked so hard for over the las six months. I made it a point to appreciate the simple things, like spending time at the pool, or relaxing on my balcony, or watching the shows…all thingst that would have been compromised by spending hours in the casino in the past.
Another thing that I recognized is exactly how greedy casinos have become… Not just are there machines everywhere, but they all offer the options of playing anywhere from 1 cent to 5 dollars a spin. As all of us with the issue know, the escalating of bets is a hallmark of our struggle….but my game was blackjack….and just recently, casinos have started to pay 6:5 on a player blackjack instead of 3:2…..This shouldn’t bother me, since I do not play anymore, but it lends to the fact that the Casino is always out to take advantage of the player (obviously, it is a business built off of losses) but it is the principle of the concept….A casino will not get beat by its players. Blackjack has always been a game where the house edge is minimal, but only because there are favorable things to a player like a 3 to 2 payment on a blakcjack…. to change a fundamental rule over what is literally pennys to a casino, is offensive, if not unfair……so to this I say BRAVO casino industry…. you have made it even easier for me to say no….
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What a really awesome post to read Johnny B. I am so happy to hear that it has finally clicked for you. That is not to say that there will never be days you could again. But retraining your brain is definitely helping. It’s like we were hardwired in a loop for so long. But when we figure out how to rewire it it’s amazing. Gambling and it’s after affects, and it’s pre affects too for that matter, sucks up so much of our time, energy and life! Not just the money.
Keep as many safe guards in place as you can. Keep in touch with the inner addiction. It will always be there. I say BRAVO Johnny B 🙂 Grab hold of this new happy life with your wife with both hands. And keep on enjoying the true meaning of life.
Laura xo -
Very inspiring. Well done Johnny, so pleased you had a great time.
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Great to hear that you are enjopying the benefits fo not gamblign Johnny. Holidays are BIG in my own recovery as well, they really highlight the difference between then and now.
You are right, the odds the casinos give don’t really matter to us now but I reflect that it wouldnt matter how good the odds were in our favour – the nature of the addiction is no win is big enough so we would just “reinvest” any winnings until we lose.
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Hi Johnny These are the posts I love to read -the posts where it is clear that so much more than finiances are being rebuilt – the relationship with your wife is going from strength to strength and it is nice thatout brains now allow us to put others first.
You sound so happy in yourself Johnny – it is like your brain and your life is being rebuilt. I am in awe of your inner strength that you could avoid all those casinos on the ship and even give away your “free” money.
How happy you sound and how deservedly so. I feel it is a measure of the person you are (gambling aside) and a measure of the person your wife is that she has stuck with you through it all. You both deserve many more wonderful experiences
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I hear ya Johnny! When money gets tight there is the feeling of guilt for what we blew in the past and didn’t get the benefit of. And then too we feel like we have to explain where every cent went because our partner may wonder if we blew it all gambling! I was just saying in another post, I would suggest doing finances together if you are still being responsible for the finances. I make a point of telling my partner where all the money is going. I’ve even started keeping a notebook of weekly spending with a spot for the receipts and bore him with the details! We are trying to cut our expenses together as we are realizing some of our dreams for the first time. I blew it when I lost every bit of everything years ago. We are just finally recovering somewhat.
I’m happy for your good times and say vent away when you need to. Stopping gambling is a very difficult thing. Full of lots of different days. And I think we understand what each other is saying or feeling the way another CG can.
Keep hanging tough Johnny, you got a whole lot of gamble free future left.
Laura
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Good work Johnny B!
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Hey Johnny B! I have some time and am going back looking for those names I haven’t seen for a bit. How are things going? Enjoying some summer weather and vacation time? I am coming along after my surgery and am looking forward to Summer finally arriving in my part of the world. Still gamble free. Life has been busy and exciting with lots of possibilities lately. Keep going Johnny. It only get’s better. Laura
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Really good to read your post! Over 7 months is well done! You have the right of it Johnny. Just wait and work through the tight time. We will def make it worse. And what I discovered was it’s the lying sneaking bit and the broken trust and promises that is the worse part of gambling again. I’m sure that you like the new you who has realized he can’t have it both ways. You sure chose the right door. Thanks for your well wishes! Keep enjoying your new life. and thanks again for the update! Nice to see some traffic on the forum. Laura
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