Lost all my savings daytrading 3 days in the stock market
I consider myself a nice person, surrounded with good people and good habits in general. I'm 30 years old, married with the love of my life and planning to have children soon. I work from home, eat healthy, sleep well, go to the gym, drink a beer once in a while and don't smoke. However, I just lost all my savings (U$ 50.000) after daytrading 3 days in the stock market.
This episode hurted my life in two main ways: the first is, obviously, financial; the second is mental, for it sort of twisted my personal perspective of myself, harming my self-confidence and making space for some suicidal toughts - which I've never had before.
Unfortunately I followed the gambler script step by step:
I began investing in the stock market for the long term, but noticed that daytrading could be a faster way to "get there"
After the first daytrade, I earned almost U$500 (1% of my total money). The second and third day were almost the same. In the fourth day I raised the "bet" and ended up losing almost U$2000 - that is, more than I had "won" before. Although this loss was financially under control (a small % of my savings), I felt uncomfortable and wanted to catch this money back. I dedicated a few months in studying daytrading (investing in courses, books...) and after about 6 months I felt ready to come back again.
In the first two hours I began "winning" U$100. Then I lost U$300. Then U$1000. I did not want to go to sleep with that lost. I began to sweat. Tried to catch the money back, lost more U$9000. Minus U$10.000 in a day. Got desperate.
After 6 months, trying to get my money back once again, I lost more U$ 15000 in a day - despite all my promisses not to do this insanity again.
Yesterday, after 6 months and new promisses again, I lost my remaining U$ 25.000. That's it folks. As quick as that. I don't know what to think, and I cannot see myself in the mirror. My wife does not know about that. In fact, nobody knows but myself.
I could have at least spent all this money travelling with my wife. Instead, I lost all this money at home, sitting in front of a computer.
I would appreciate a lot if you could share some words on how to be a "normal" person again.
It feels like the "gambler spirit" will always be surrounding me.
Thank you very much, my friends.