hi every body i am gonna tell you my story …. i started playing roullate 3 years ago , just for fun one of my friend took me to casino and on first time i won 1000 euro in 15 mins i was amazed that i can win such a amount of money in such a small time ..  i was hooked and i remember i told cashier that i robbed u guys and she simply reply ( i’ll wait for you ) and i said you wish cause im not gonna comeback again which i did …………
 at start i only gamble with small amount like 50 or 100 and  few time later i start playing with my whole week wages ,waiting at atm  mechine on friday at 2 o clock at nigth to get money in my account and i’ll go straigth into casino ,i done that for almost 3 years i sold my car , credit card , loans , borrow , everything to feed my gambling habbit .i never thougth gambling is that much serious , lost love of my life ……
. now when i see myself i hate myself cause i used to be very good my friends like me every body was happy with me..
i won thousands in one nigth i lost thousand in one nigth … actually it get worst when i start seeing a girl she siad she love me i told her everything about my gambling addiction i told her im complusive gambler …. but she said no matter what i love you so much …… so i paid for house and we moved togther she wasn’t ordinary girl she was my best pal wife i knw her from past 3 years and never try to flirt with her but all the sudden she started flirting with me and i couldn’t stop myself cause i always admire her …. so here we are moved togther i told my friend everything at start about our affair ,he warned me about her look she done that to me and she is gonna to that to you as well but i ignore him ……
 she really enjoy leaivng with me drinks every day , fags , dresses everything she wish i dont care how much it cost ….
but all the sudden my job was in danger they put me off for 3 weeks so i told her i lost my job and i have no money cause i gamble with my all money …. so since the day i told her i lost my job she start behaving with me wierd …
figth with me on stupid things u left this open u closed that thing …. so i was so worried and thougth it all beacuse of money … she just got changed in 4 days …….  and on  the last nigth with me she start figthing with me provkin me to hit her or something i loved her i couldnt see her lik that she told me she now cant go back to her husband and i was like god whats goin on with her ………. so tried to make her calim but she said she wanted to go to her moms ……..
 next mornign i wakeup requested her not to go to her moms she said ok but u have to move to other room so i start shifting my cloths to other room she helped me and i was like god what she is doin but i thougth she is angry she is gonna be alrite but …. i reliaze it was to  late …. i went outside to get some money off friends and when i come back home her eyes looked like she’s been crying for hours so i said to her everything gonna be alrite i will find some work and ill quit gambling she said ohh i knw its not possiable u cant stop it . i said i will but shes been planing something else so i went back to my friend …… and when i came home after few hours she opened door and again red eyes so i feel more bad and when i went in she straigth sit on cough infront of her husband whom she left for me and than i knew what was goin on ….. so she left me all alone ………..
 than i start blaming myself for everything ……….. and swear myself i am gonna win so much money , next day when she left me i got my tax back and my boss ring me back on work … but i thougth it was too late so i keep playing every week every cent every week left woth nothing not even few cents i walk to work for hours i didnt eat for days … lost so much weigth that i can see dark circules around my eyes grow hair …….  now its been 8 months but i m still same no money ….. owe people money … still balme myself for everything but now i am sick of this life ….
so i am gonna stop gambling final for this time … start goin to gaa and try to forget what i lost ……………….
 belive me its really lonely place to stand where i am now …… i never cared for  money like other poeple do i just pay for what ever i need but at end i realiaze i am all broke no money for food or payin rent ………………….
 
forgive my english cause its not  my first language …….
thanks– 30/11/2010 14:55:03: post edited by silkroute.