My Last Post.

Just thought I'd let you all know I wont be using this forum for a good while. My recovery is everything to me and after my recent relapse, I have decided its not being of any use to me at present. The main reason being is my ex, who proclaimed to be so very supportive of me before I came to Gordon House, and during my first six months there. She blew me out in march 2 days after I sent her £300, the timing just a coincidence I thought at the time, on reflection I've come to the conclusion it was no coincidence, when I was in Gordon House living on benefits I sent her £1080 in total. We did get a £500 loan between us prior to me going to GH, not gambling debts or anything related to gambling. It was to buy things at auction and sell on ebay, she sold all the items when I was GH and kept the money, yet I was expected to repay all the money. Not a problem in itself, she has a small son to provide for. Since she blew me out giving as a reason " I changed my mind about you because of how you are with me and how that makes me feel about myself". Very hard for me to comprehend to be honest, I was deep into counselling at that time and may have been a bit subdued owing to the emotional turmoil I was experiencing. She has bigged herself up in her posts on here many many times, I have been entirely honest in my recovery, she hasnt but seems to "get away with it." It has been very very difficult for me to get her out of my system I was just about over it when a couple of weeks ago she popped up on here again masquerading as someone else. This has wrecked my head and to be honest although I would never blame anybody for my gambling, it surely has had an impact on my emotional health, the latest sucker punch was last week when I received an email from facebook (althought my account has long since been closed) saying she had "poked" me. In a relationship where one partner is a compulsive gambler, it is usually the gambler who pulls the stunts and plays the mind games, not in this case. I am getting great support from a wide spectrum of places at present, and I feel if I continue to come on here and shes posting it will continue to do my head in, and ultimatley that is no good for me. So to all that have supported me over the last few months, thanks very much you have all helped. I will be back on here one day but not for a while.

To my ex; how stupid do you think I am?

So long.

Geordie.

If I can change anybody can change.-- 24/09/2010 14:47:18: post edited by geordie18.