- This topic has 9 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 11 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
-
So finally after years of drunken gambling and countless close calls, I have lucked out and lost pretty much my entire savings in one hour – £35k.
Some context first. I am the first to admit that I have an addictive personality, whether it be gambling or alcohol. Once I start I find it so difficult to stop. All inhibitions or restraint goes
out the window, I really become a different person. I first started gambling towards the final year of university and over the course of the following year lost about £5k. This
consumed my thoughts constantly, all I could think about was getting back that money. The actual gambling I actually hated, no real rush or excitement, just a feeling of dread and
regret and I was always relieved when it was over, win or lose. Slowly over time the feeling of recuperating my losses faded and I thought I had everything sorted.At one point I would say I had lost approximately £15k at the worst but some how managed to claw it back to around the £6k mark. That I could live with. However, a few days ago, after a
few drinks I decided I would play a little. I lost £1k, deposited another £3k, lost that. That’s me at £10k in my head but I’ve been as low as £15k down so I can cope with that. So I deposit £5k
but it doesn’t work, so I try again, and again, and again. Turns out that it worked every time and I’m sitting there with £20k in my online account. And I blow it in minutes. After that another
£10k goes in to try win it all back but I lose that.I’m not going to say that I don’t have a gambling problem as it’s evidently clear that I do, it’s just that having read other stories and talked to friends that have sought help for their problems,
mine are also alcohol related just as much if not more so. If I haven’t been drinking I have absolutely no inclination or desire to gamble. I can go weeks or months without giving it the slightest
thought. It’s just when I’ve had a few then my filters just go to zero and frankly I don’t give a care in the world about the consequences.So that is where I am at the moment. Thankfully I have a pretty good job and I am lucky that I have paid my mortgage with no real outgoings. I don’t have kids or a relationships so nobody bar me
me will really suffer from this. Will I tell my parents that I don’t know yet? What’s done is done, will subjecting them to this really do anything but make them suffer the same anguish I am currently
experiencing. I have know for sometime now that I have a problem with alcohol so tonight I went to my first AA meeting. Pretty daunting and although I’m not entirely sure its for me I’m glad I
went. Tomorrow I will go to a GA meeting and see how that goes. Just got to try take it one day at a time. An older gentleman said to me at my AA meeting that I’ve got to learn to forgive myself,
I am nowhere near that but hopefully one day I will and I can move on.Thanks for reading.
-
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
-
Hi Stuart
Firstly it’s never about the amount of money. Your life savings objectively might amount to a considerable amount of money but the gambler who lives in a homeless hostel and does his benefit check in an hour is in exactly the same position as you. Skint, angry, bewilderd, and eager to recoup their losses.
I wonder from reading your account if in fact you have done enough damage to be feeling enough pain to really turn this round. Most of us tend to be well past the last chance saloon before we are ready to accept the reality of being defeated and being losers.
I share the dual addiction too except mine operated the opposite way. I never drank when I gambled but did so afterwards normally to console myself but occasionally because I won some money, the crueleest part of gambling if like me you are a compulsive gambler. The reason for not drinking and gambling is in retrospect hilarious – I thought alcohol would affect my judgement when I was in action!!!!! This really serves to underline for me that I suffered from some sort of mental illness!
On considering your predicament surely the solution is therefore to quit drinking because you only gamble if you are boozed up. The booze may well be your primary addiction and it may be best to address this as the priority if you are confident that this is how it works for you. This would be my suggestion right now.
I have come across a fair few sober drunks who found a very destructive outlet in gambling mainly on the basis that they consider it to be non-chemical and therefore ‘harmless’. These guys were hammering themselves in the bookies. A wise man put it to me that I was doubly blessed by virtue of my dual addiction. The point for me is I would never have quit drinking if I hadn’t quit gambling, my primary addiction, and in the event that I did quit drinking I would never have been able to stop gambling as I would have clung to the idea that having given up drink I was entitled to a bit of fun!
I want to assure you that you can get out from under both these addictions and that you have amade a good start by coming on here and getting to meetings. keep coming back! Good luck
-
-
Hi Stuart,
I really think that you have lost a lot to actually now draw a line under it all and say “no more”
Perhaps involve someone close to you, a friend or family member. Transfer your bonus to their account for now or invest in a long term project which doesn’t allow you to withdraw money short term.
Believe in yourself, you really don’t have to take more blows before you get to the point where you just have to stop. Make that stop point now. I really have faith that if you take each day at a time, seriously refraining from gambling, you can kick the habit.
I lost about £30,000 41 days ago ( between May and June) that was my last straw. My wake up call
No more
-
-
-
Hi Stuart
feeling your pain with this loss and relapse and it’s all the more painful when it happens after a long stretch of GF time.
With regards to the withdrawal restriction, was it just a case of you waiting for the cash out period or was it that you had to gamble more to be able to withdraw the 16k?
These sites have a way of hooking us in a keeping us there, until we have spent our last penny in deposit money (as you probably know well.)
Please let go of your losses. That 2k could have been £20k or even £200k. just imagine based on past experiences what that would have felt like.
I, like you, have lost a huge amount of money to online G sites and only lost again and again chasing. I have zero inhibitions when it comes to gambling and I always bet big, which means huge losses in a small amount of time.
Turn away from the things that are triggering your loss like alcohol and lose access to money. the addiction will always remain and I guess you have to protect yourself from it now and even 10 years down the line.
-
-
Stuart
To be honest many of us have found that casinos will drag their heels when it comes to paying out large amounts.
Sometimes we play and are unsure we will ever see any winnings.
Even those casinos which pay often have cancel withdrawal facility.
Their job is to take our money by any means.
You are right to stay away – they mess with our brain when we win and when we lose.
You deserve better!
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.