Gambling Therapy logo
Viewing 4 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #53782
      cnb_1
      Participant

      Hi everyone. Firstly, thank you for taking the time to read this.
      My name is Chris and I’m 26 and live in the DC area. I have been gambling off and on for about 4 years. Recently, I had stopped for about 5 months and felt really
      good. I had banned myself from all my casinos in my home state of New Mexico and didn’t gamble online. Recently I moved to the DC area and again, I was good
      and didn’t gamble for a while. Then about a month ago, I went to a local casino and it just all spiraled downhill. Chasing and chasing. Spending money I don’t have.
      Borrowing money from family but not dare telling them I am gambling again. It would crush them. I am so angry with myself. Every time after I gamble, I will tell myself
      I will NEVER gamble again. But sure enough a couple days later I start thinking about how I need to make some extra cash and how I can just turn this $200, 300, 400 etc
      into much more. Of course, that rarely ever happens and when it does, I just go back days later and give it all back. I feel so incredibly defeated.
      I am a dancer and got into the graduate program of my dreams for next Fall. It seems like everything was falling into place but then there is this side of me that I just
      can’t control. I have filed bankruptcy a couple years ago mainly because of big debts I had incurred and things I couldn’t pay all because of my gambling. Now I feel like I
      am in just as bad shape again. I hate myself because I had a chance to start over and I ruined it all again. I feel so guilty and shameful. I wonder why I gamble and why I feel so
      drawn to it. It’s worse when I am really bored or have a lot of downtime because I just want to go to the casino and get some excitement and make some money. I justify reasons
      why I should go and how it’s “not that bad”. I feel like such a failure. I have friends that have great credit, savings, buying houses, etc. I’m over here with zero savings, wrecked credit,
      wondering how I will make rent and live, etc. all because I gambled. What is wrong with me??!!! Thank you for reading all of this and I hope everyone is having happy holidays.

      Chris

    • #53783
      velvet
      Moderator

      Hello Chris and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #53784
      MurrS7
      Participant

      Chris I feel your pain brother and I have felt every emotion and told myself all of those things you mentioned above. I’m a loser, I have bad credit, all my friends are buying houses getting married, failure, degenerate the list can go on for days. This disease is something that we cannot control. It is literally out of our power, we are powerless over gambling man. You mentioned you had gone 5 months clean, then relapsed, it’s because we think we have beat it, and tell ourselves we can go play smarter, or less risk, or just for entertainment. But once our first bet is placed, it’s like an alcoholic , we won’t stop until every single penny is maxed out, most of the times chasing our original amount we came with. I’ll always remember 90% of my
      Casino trips, bring x money, lose it.. take daily limit out of debit to try to get original loss, lose that. Call bank beg them to increase credit limit , they do, take out as much as the limit raise is, lose that. Go onto credit card, cash advance my daily limit, lose that. The amount of times I walked out of a casino feeling like a piece of human garbage, a piece of shit, I can’t even *****. You have to tell yourself you don’t want to feel that pain any longer. The longer you choose to gamble, the deeper the hole will get, and that’s just a fact. We will never win our money back that we lost, but we can make it so we don’t make it any worse at this very moment. You should be proud of 5 months clean time. Don’t think of your relapse as back at day 1, think of it as a slip up, think of all of the progress you made in that time off, remember how less stressed you were? Remember how much more available money you had? Remember how you slept better, ate healthier , exercises even? Had healthy relationships with your family? Partner, friends? This is all a life without gambling. With gambling we are depressed, anxious, mad, sad, sleepless nights, forgetting to eat, eating garbage, no working out, no social life, people don’t want to be around us, being don’t trust our words. I don’t want that and I know you don’t either. You have the power to stop and it will be the hardest thing you ever will do, but it is fully possible. Have you tried GA? You are so young man, I’m close to your age. We have so much time to rebuild if we stop now , The majority of people I met in GA were 40-60 years old. They told. Me they wished they came when they were in their 20s for help, because there is so much time to rebuild. Imagine trying at 50? After losing millions, families, houses, businesses, and their whole entire youth to this. We are talking 40 years of gambling. Man do you want that? You have gambled 4 years and I have gambled 10. Do you want to get to 10 also? Or do you want to say your gambling addiction was 4 years? I want mine to be 10, and I won’t live one more day gambling or else we will he just like those older gamblers who wished we could have stopped 20 years earlier. You can get your life back bro, you really can. It’s up to you. How much work are you willing to put into your recovery? Do you want it bad, or do you just kind of want to stop? I know you want it bad I know you don’t want to feel this pain ever again and I’m here as living proof you don’t have to. I quit gambling 75 days ago after losing my life savings, my business, had to move back home with my parents at age 30 and am paying off 30k of gambling debt right now. One year at my new job basically will be for free to pay this off. I beg you don’t take it where I am man. You can stop now. I believe in you and know there is always the light at the end of the tunnel. Decide right now you are done for good.

      Merry Christmas man and sorry for rambling. I hope my words helped you in any way and know you are not alone.

    • #53785
      Seanraj4731
      Participant

      Season Greetings man.
      Yes Chris you got courage to come this forum being honest abt everything you are going through at this moment. Congrats on self discovery and and that 5 months you were free from that habit. You gonna make that into 50 plus years gamble free. You are gonna to achieve it. You are observing where you are and your thoughts. I agree with murr aka stephen. He has asked the right questions to wake up your self worth. I see he has touch alot on where you are going to be. Continue to post your thoughts and progress on this forum. Spend some time and read abt those who are on this website testimonies the struggles and now they are living the best life now. Chris happy xmas and focus on rewiring your mind and focus on a perfect health. Live and enjoy it being GF. I am 20days xmas day GF. I was gambling for the past 5 years only on roulette machines. I losted it all even my family. It has cause alotta downfall and now i rise above this. Moving forward. Thank you for treading. You gonna be a better from now on

    • #53786
      Seanraj4731
      Participant

      Havent read from you brother. Please keep posting on your progress. We are rooting for you.

Viewing 4 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.