never not will end

I gambled first when i was 12 years old. Now ave 43 and still i have a strong gambling addiction. I had longer breaks , i was always a very good student . but do to gambling

at 22 i was alcoholic , i took my last exams on the college after few beers and a bottle of vodka. Its the third country where im living , more then 6 years. im working really

hard , for nothing all money are going to my gambling addiction or debt collectors. still i have my family near me , i dont know how long . First time was small ammounts

but after i begin it to have bigger wage , so bigger loans . Last two years i lost around 150 k euro . im afraid i will finish alone on the street , good cause im not suicidal.

Last time i relapsed two days ago around 3k. After a loose i take a lot of medicine to keep me calm . I think i try it everything to stop gambling. Software, i dont own my bank account ,

always i found a way to gamble, also the sites found. This time i borrow it 3k in cryptocurrency, to pay some loans and the transfer delayed one day so i begin it to gamble.

After ten hours i doubled my ammount, i did not sleep all night , i goes to work , and when arrived home i said i will put 100 euro. In 2 hours i lost everything. I think for me

no chance to recover, im very disappointed by myself.

But i write here a line , if i will gamble one more time even 1 euro , i take the first airplane to one of the most dangerous place in Africa like a volunteer , and i will stay there

and i will stay there for two years , to get enough adrenaline for all my life. I will keep what i promise.


it will never end


Hi Eli,

Sorry to hear you gambled but well Done on coming back.

Now is the time to take action to close every last door Eli - you know those ones the addiction convince us won’t matter.


You don’t need to go to Africa - you can create barriers so strong here that you simply cannot gamble. This might mean trusting others with your money - it’s a hard thing to do but much easier than trusting a casino with it.


Let this be the last hard lesson Eli.

Throw everything you have at recovery

.


thanks did , i have strong deprression right now , it will be very hard to work next few weeks. im really serious  what i said , already i found a foundation who need volunteers to Africa. And  i made my registration.  i will teach kids  math, using technology, help to develop systems to have acces to internet, and more technology  issues. I will decide in few months if im going, 


Firstly - it is great to see you posting here, although I am sad about the circumstances. It does show the determination a gambler has when he wants to bet - to use crypto-currency to do so.


I smiled with recognition when I saw your comment about Africa. I too had a thought to do something "out there" when I kept "slipping," only I was not as brave or as philanthropic as you. I resolved to become a Buddhist monk in Laos - as I thought there will be no casinos, slots or any temptation there + I might learn something. It felt like a good plan. Then I thought - well if that is my back-stop what can I do to make my present life better and I worked my recovery.


Working it, for me, meant not only stopping gambling, but looking at the reasons why I was gambling in the first place. That did mean group work (GA and other) counselling and talking to people on help-lines and forums. All things I had resisted when I was seriously in action. Feeling I was now a recovering gambler and not in action - helped to keep me in recovery ... if that makes sense!


I wonder if it is worth seeing a medic about your depression. Sometimes it has a physical cause and medication can help.


Please do get as much support for yourself as you can. You are not alone with this and by seeking support you are trying to do something about it and put your life back on track. I wish you well!


Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums


Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!


Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.


As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)


And on that note....


I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you :-)


Take care


The Gambling Therapy Team



PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!


H Eli,


You have found already that relocating has not solved your problems previously. If you go to Africa then your addiction will go with you.


There is plenty of gambling in Africa and if you are helping with technology then there will be plenty of access to online gambling as well.


So what steps can you take now? Where you are now?


You can post those steps here and/or you can come and talk about them in the groups later.


Eli, the aftermath of gambling can lead to deep depression.

I have been there too often.

My suggestion would be that you make no plans to change your location.

Take on step at a time. Go to work. Break the day down into hours. Try not to dwell on the recent loss. The money is gone. It will never come back. That is PAINFUL.

Say the serenity prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can an

The Wisdom to know the difference.

Sit down . Take deep breaths. The urge to win your money back will come and go. Remember one thing

COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS NEVER WIN.