On a really bad low
Hi I was on this group a few years ago as an 18 year old lad looking for a bit of guidance. Now at the age of 22 I’m more lost than I have ever been, always tell myself I can control it when in fact it’s ruining my life. Basically from the age of 16 years old I have gambled weekly no issue at first just football bets on a weekend £1’s and £2’s but as I got a job and better money stakes started going up and more frequently. I now can’t remember the last day I didn’t gamble I have racked up 18k of debt in 4 years although I have paid majority off and am down to 4K thanks to help from my dad. So basically why I’m here now, my girlfriends granda died 2 days ago who he thought the world of and all the stress of everything I thought I’d try and relieve a bit last night wow what a mistake. So in the space of 1 hour I’ve lost £1000 on roulette just trying to chase back losses, these losses £50 on esports betting, lost over £1000 in the space of an hour chasing losses of £50 you couldn’t write it. Now I have tried to put that £1000 out my head as it is gone now and I have no urge to go back and try win it but I’m just on a really bad come down from it as I know I’m still in debt and I’m starting to come to terms will I always have this addiction? is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Will I ever live a normal life? Physically and mentally don’t think I can go through it much longer and that’s why I’ve turned to this group. Reading some of the journeys has made me re-value some things and made me realise I’m not alone. I’m giving it one last try to be gamble free and if it doesn’t happen this time then I don’t know what I’ll do I can’t keep hurting people round me and living like this.
So here goes day 1.