On a really bad low

Hi I was on this group a few years ago as an 18 year old lad looking for a bit of guidance. Now at the age of 22 I’m more lost than I have ever been, always tell myself I can control it when in fact it’s ruining my life. Basically from the age of 16 years old I have gambled weekly no issue at first just football bets on a weekend £1’s and £2’s but as I got a job and better money stakes started going up and more frequently. I now can’t remember the last day I didn’t gamble I have racked up 18k of debt in 4 years although I have paid majority off and am down to 4K thanks to help from my dad. So basically why I’m here now, my girlfriends granda died 2 days ago who he thought the world of and all the stress of everything I thought I’d try and relieve a bit last night wow what a mistake. So in the space of 1 hour I’ve lost £1000 on roulette just trying to chase back losses, these losses £50 on esports betting, lost over £1000 in the space of an hour chasing losses of £50 you couldn’t write it. Now I have tried to put that £1000 out my head as it is gone now and I have no urge to go back and try win it but I’m just on a really bad come down from it as I know I’m still in debt and I’m starting to come to terms will I always have this addiction? is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Will I ever live a normal life? Physically and mentally don’t think I can go through it much longer and that’s why I’ve turned to this group. Reading some of the journeys has made me re-value some things and made me realise I’m not alone. I’m giving it one last try to be gamble free and if it doesn’t happen this time then I don’t know what I’ll do I can’t keep hurting people round me and living like this.


So here goes day 1.


Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums


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And on that note....


I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you :-)


Take care


The Gambling Therapy Team



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Hi WWIS I remember you being on here before and am full of admiration that you have come back to give it another go.


I can tell you about things which help me stay gamble free when my will power fails. I have a gambling blocker on my internet devices (currently I just have a phone). It’s called Gamban and I started with a free trial - I put off getting it for years because it costs - but it has saved me thousands.


I cancelled my bank cards and got someone else to open the new ones and scratch the last three numbers on the back. This means I cannot use them online at all but can still use in shops.


That’s just two things which I find particularly helpful.


I am no different to you WWIS- just in the end I couldn’t take  it anymore and knew I had to cut it out of my life completely with no small doors left open- just in case !


I hope this helps - you can stop and stay stopped.


thanks your comment mate really appreciate it. i Have looked into the gambling blocker before but maybe I just didn’t get the right one. I can’t remember what it was called but it was basically a VPN which you could just turn off when you wished and with me not having the will power would turn it off as and when i wish.  would happily pay for a blocker if it literally did what it says on the tin and cut my access to gambling sites. I admire you for staying gamble free for so long and have seen people in much worse positions than me beat the disease and that’s what’s willing me on. Haven’t actually thought of gambling today which is the first time in a long time, I have a bank with Monzo and I have made them put a cooling off period of 1 year on my bank if I wanted to turn gambling transactions back on but just in case there is a slip in the net I am withdrawing every bit of money I get each month and have told all family and friends never to send me money even if I ask or beg as I will never need money in my bank, feel a lot better for it so hopefully this day forward I will never gamble again.


This happened me too!


Theu have upgraded it so it cant be switched off !


so does it literally just stay on your phone for the year and you have no ways of turning it off? If so I’ll download it now I don’t mind paying if it keeps me away from gambling!


You asked, "will I always have this addiction? is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Will I ever live a normal life?"


To answer the first question - it sounds like your brain is wired the same way that mine is. I cannot place a bet, because once I do, I cannot stop. Like you, I cannot quit - either whilst I am ahead or behind - I always chase losses, the definition of a problem gambler.


To answer question 3, I feel I am living a normal life - in as much as I am leading a life without gambling. I cut gambling out of my life completely. I look upon it like having allergy. If I had a peanut allergy, I would know I could never eat peanuts again. Would that affect my life? Yes, I would have to be more careful than most people and accept that some wouldn't understand that they can eat peanuts with no problems and I can't. But in the grand scheme of things, not being able to eat peanuts is not big deal. Life goes on. So it is without gambling. I just tell people I don't gamble and live a life without gambling.


So is there light at the end of the tunnel. If that means a life without gambling, then yes. I have been gamble free for so long, I can't remember - but at least 12 years. It wasn't easy in the beginning - especially thinking about my losses and having to manage debt for many, many years. I was plagued by urges and had to do a lot of "self-work" to get through that period. Now gambling is just not part of my life.


If you read through the threads on here you will see the three things you need to do to stop, (lose access to gambling, to the means to gamble and to the time to gamble) - and the one thing you need to do to stay stopped - which is to get really good support for yourself. I wish you well.


Hi mate thanks for the reply. It sounds we are very similar because you have literally just described my addiction in.A sentence. cannot quit whether I am up or behind that is my problem I could be £400 up and want to reach that £500 mark I don’t know if it is me been money orientated or whether it’s just the addiction wanting more from me? But I do appreciate your comments and I will start to look at it as an allergy, am allergy I have to cut out altogether because it is very harmful a silent killer and I’m determined not to let it get that far, i have had no urge to gamble today and as I said above to another gentleman I am withdrawing all cash and basically abondoning banks in order to beat this! Well done on 12 years that’s a hell of an achievement and I aspire to be were you are now and follow in your footsteps once my debts paid back I will feel a massive weight lifted as this debt is the last thing tying me down to gambling as it’s what got me in this mess. I’ll soldier through it and come out the other side in tact I know I can do it.


I’m gunna use this as a journal may give me motivation for me to update every few days or daily with thoughts that way when things go get bad and I get urges I can look back and see how I got through it day by day so why should I ruin that. Think I’ll do it this time got a whole new look on the situation and understand it’s a disease


Hi WWIS

Yes this is a disease, and is recognised as such. Like many diseases however, with the correct treatment it can be can be controlled.

Joining this site Is step one of your treatment - there will be good days and bad - it is a difficult addiction to overcome, but people do it everyday.

Countless times I have come back to write about a slip along the way, but once I found what worked for me, it changed my life.

Keep strong and keep trying - you will get there. I hope you get there a lot quicker than I did! We all deserve a life free from this .


I am exactly the same as everyone who has commented on this post I could be hundreds of pounds up but I think ‘I’ll just get it up to £x then I’ll stop” I don’t even realise that I’m pushing the spin button (online slots for me) until that message pops up “funds unavailable-please deposit money” and I realise shit! I’ve just done my rent or food shopping money and then the panic starts of trying to get money to replace what I’ve lost!!! I’m no better off in fact I’m worse off! It goes round and round!! Stop it now COMPLETELY! (Being honest with yourself is massive) ‘gamstop’ is really good! I registered a week ago and it’s got an option for how long (I picked 5 years) you self exclude, using phone numbers and email addresses blocks all online gambling sites registered in the uk and it’s free! Again I think you need to be completely honest with yourself and them too and put every email address or mobile number down when completing the registration! I haven’t (thank god) tried to get around ‘gamstop’ or the self exclusion yet! Keep talking and posting and being truthful with everyone but mainly YOU! 12 years down the line you will be helping somebody else out who’s feeling low because of this awful disease! Good luck jade


Not going to lie I have relapsed a few times since this post. I have since started getting councilling sessions via phone calls through a company called necca if anyone has ever heard of it? UK based and quite helpful and it’s free of charge. She has mentioned a few good things finding out my triggers for gambling and also suggesting contacting my WiFi provider and blocking gambling as well as my phone contract company to do the same, all of which has been done as of yesterday so hopefully start of me not gambling as I physically can’t. Thanks for your words jade it’s a tough time knowing you need to stop and the money that is getting wasted but just not been able to, I have realised that you never meet a poor bookmaker and that I’ll only ever loose even if I win £1000 I will still end up putting that In Plus £500 of my own money, but can only try again. I’ll try keep use updated as it’s good to talk.