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Hi there all,
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nI am a compulsive gambler, and I have gone through so many starts and stops in my life.
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nI woke up this morning, and my first thought was to online gamble. And I did. Was up a bit, then lost it all. Actually I have lost a lot in the past month, and its just not stopping. Being temporarily laid off from my job of 15 years doesn’t help either. Coupled with the Covid situation, seems like my whole life is in a bit of a tailspin.
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nI say that I’ll stop but i find myself logging on to a new casino and going through the motions – hoping that it will give me a solution to my money problem. A debt that has increased considerably…
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nI realize now more than ever, that there is not an end in this game. It will just continue, as I become numb to the thrills.
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nI am becoming somebody who I do not recognize anymore (hiding this disease from others) and that is very scary to me.
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nI hope that writing about my issue, committing to updating regularly, and looking into joining one of the groups will lead me to a lasting control over this. -
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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Hi astrofly,
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nI can associate with most of what you have said having come to this forum and seeking help at the beginning of the week.
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nI attended my first group session yesterday for new Members and found it extremely useful. I really recommend giving one of those sessions a go, as Charles mentioned, they are On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK) -
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You know I actually thought of this today I was thinking of all of the memories that I have tarnished because of my gambling they could’ve actually been really good memories if my demon had not come out and destroyed them ….They all start address good intentioned fun with my friends. And to them that might be their memories. But many of times I have abandoned those good times to create distractive distractive gambling moments in my life that I will never get back. I’m looking forward to a future we’re good memories will be just that memories that I am present for people that I am present for Because gambling is no more my ambition I wish the same for all of us actually I pray that for us
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Congrats Astro on getting offered a temporary job. As you said, it will be great to have something you can channel your energy towards.
One thing that might be worth considering is having someone else handle your money at least in the short term. As Charles has helped me understand, even if you are doing this, you are not handing over responsibility for your money, you still control your finances and decide where it is spent, but anytime you want to use that money for something, it has to go through that other person thus reducing the chances that you have access to funds for gambling.
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Did you end up doing something like that?
Yes, I have an automatic payment in place that once my wages arrive, an allocation for main expenses is sent to a person I trust for rent, main bills, savings etc.
I still have access to a small amount of money for everyday living, but even for that, the person I trust has visibility of where it is spent to keep me immediately accountable.
Even if you are not ready to have someone else help manage your money. Setting up a system to make sure you are immediately accountable for any money you spend could be a big help, basically allowing someone else to have visibility of what you are spending. There are a number of ways you could do this such as keeping a shared budget of spending, having someone else get notified for any transactions on your account, having all funds go through a shared vault in Revout, Giving someone else access to your bank statements (or having them sent to someone else) etc.
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good progress keep it up
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hi astrofly,
I was in your position and still, I am but now I am in much better shape financially.
what I learned is don’t try to rush the recovery do it slowly but steady. every time I thought about how to expedite the financial recovery it leads me back to gambling, “for a man with a hammer everything looks like a nail”.
at this stage focus on yourself and how to improve your self and as you recover a new Opportunities will come. and you will grow financially.
don’t think that gambling is a solution no it is not and every member here in this forum knows that, you can find some deluded peoples in the real world thinks they can win money gambling; they can’t. it is a losing game.
also keeping access to the account will increase your temptation to gamble ask one of your family members to take control temporarily.
if you don’t have anyone who you can give the control to, then reduce the cash part; bay valued things like gold or properties, car ….etc it is difficult for you to liquidate these items fast so you will have plenty of time you to stop before losing that money if you relapsed. note this is not recommended in the early stage of recovery better is to give control to someone else.
hope you all the best
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Sorry to hear about your recent setback astrofly21 but well done on getting back on here and looking for ways to help to get back gamble free. I had a setback as well a little before Christmas. Here is to both of us staying stronger in 2021
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