April 23rd 2012
I need a job. To pay off my gambling debts that I have put on to my credit card over the last three days.
I had a good life in a job that I loved, surrounded by good people who liked me and treated me well. I abused them badly and let my employers down again by leaving the job. I regret this very much.
I can hear Donald Trump’s voice in my head saying that "he can’t stand a quitter!" and it makes me very ashamed of myself for letting down the school, the students, my host family and my employers. All people who have been very, very good to me and treated me very well.
I want to return for the school semester in September but I am not sure if this is realistic or for the best. It is something I want to do though. We will see in a few months time.
Things to do –
1. Try hard to find a job.
Maybe when I have a job then I can be more open with my parents about the size of my debt and my perilous financial situation.  I can also then get to a GA meeting which are at the moment 30/40 miles away.
Maybe I can get to a GA meeting anyway, on Friday, I’m sure my parents will pay for the petrol if I tell them where I am going.
2. Get to a GA meeting (see above).
3. Block internet access to gambling.
I will do this tonight. I will use the K9 software which is free I think and will get my parents to set my password.
4. Sort out banks. Call bank and stop my card. Call credit card company and stop my card, explain the situation. Put finances back in to my parents hands.
5. Be flexible and try and keep an open mind. Don’t worry unduly about the future. I don’t have to make any decisions yet.
6. Try and talk to my friends on the phone to have something nice to do and something to look forward to.