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    • #14910
      ozcat
      Participant

      What a struggle it has been to stay gamble free.  It has been a very bad dream that I am only now waking from.  CG has ruled my life for 15yrs, doesnt sound that long but it has been a living hell and one I am no longer willing to live.  It was not living it was existing, just, existing at a base level and not being able to find a way to stop it.  I have been awakening slowly from this nightmare because I wanted to stop many times over the past few years only to be sucked back in by the obsession and compulsion.  I had no control, I would think about gambling and that was enough I would!.  Now I am developing a little more consequencial thinking, a little more honesty, a little more willingness. It is coming slowly, but it is coming cause I just cant keep living the active CG life anymore. Enough is enough. I know it is only early days I had my last gamble 26th Dec 2010, but with help I know I can stay gamble free.Courage, not the abscence of fear or despair but the strength to conquer them!

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