today I lost everything
Hello, I'm Adam. I've just signed up to this site after advice from Katie on the live chat. I've been gambling since I was probably 13/14. Slot machines are my thing. I would go to the arcade at dinner time when I went to school, or into town on the weekends to spend all my pocket money.
I guess I graduated to more serious money when I left school and got a job in a pub glass collecting. I'd be happy to lose 20, 30 quid on the bandit even if that was a big percentage of my wages. As I got older I was promoted to the bar and eventually assistant steward. As the position went up, the wages went up, the gambling went up. The inclusion of a £1 a spin machine at work proved too tempting and I was regularly losing hundreds.
More recently I'd signed up to Betfred to try my hand at gambling away from work. Once again, video slots were my thing. Started easy with £2 a spin, but it gradually grew and grew. £10 a spin, £20, £40. Soon I was losing £100 with every spin of the reels. I recently lost £11,000 from a£17,000 life savings account. I was destroyed. So imagine my delight when I managed to win and build it back up to £20,000. That should of been the end of it. But for the fact I'm here, we all know it wasn't. I lasted roughly 1 week before I was gambling again. £100 a spin. I lost £11,500 over a week or so. I lost the final £8,500 in around 20 minutes yesterday.
I'm absolutely mortified to say the least. I've no idea where to go from here. That money was supposed to go towards a new house next year. This is where my problems lie. I can't bare the thought of telling my parents who have basically wiped my arse for 30 years. It's all going to come out eventually when I try to get a mortgage and they check my financial history. Further still, my girlfriend who has always struggled financially, will never understand. She's thousands in debt herself, so she'll never be able to come to terms with me losing £8,000 in 20 minutes. I just can't face them. I'm basically eyeing up as much stuff in my possession that I have to sell. Try and claw some of it back. If I saved £200 of my wages every week, I'll get it back in about 100 weeks. That's just never going to happen.
I think I'm going to have to settle into this depression...