Hey Canuck. And welcome here.
I must say I love this sentence “I’m finally admitting 100% defeat to this disease. I think previously I had always clung on to the belief that someday I would be able to gamble like a normal person.”

I have (had?) been kidding myself for decades that only if I played my A game at poker, only if I didn’t steam, only if I didn’t play when tired, only if I played lower limits – I could definitely beat the game. After all i know people who beat the game constantly and their “A game” is no better than mine.
Now I know that the few successful gamblers I know maintain their A game most of the time, whereas I start playing terribly after a couple of bad beats. And I know I’m not able to change that. I know I am too much of a compulsive gambler and these few “lucky ones” are not as compulsive. I also know that even if I managed to play my A game all the time (which is pretty much impossible) it would still not be worth my while. I’d be making a few dollars per hour, best case scenario. Worst case scenario (and far more likely than best case scenario) I would end up homeless.

I now also know that I cannot be a recreational gambler after gambling non stop for 3 decades. It ain’t gonna happen. I cannot have “only one bet”. It is an impossibility.

And yes, like you I used to envy people who could gamble “like a normal person.”
But then I read this in a book “you envy them all the time they spend NOT gambling, you don’t envy them the time they spend gambling…” Simple to understand when you put it that way. I recommend you read the Easy Way to Stop Gambling by Allen Carr.

Come here often, read the stories. I come here daily now and it helps me.

You know, on my last gambling day I played black jack too, for the same reason. Poker was too much of a grind, and playing black jack at 1% disadvantage seemed far more prudent then making bad calls at poker with 20-30% negative EV.
Fools seldom differ.

Hi Western, welcome to GT. firstly well done on quitting the alcohol. You have proven to yourself that you have great inner reserves and that you can overcome a difficult addiction.
Gambling is difficult as it so so a sneaky and easy to hide . The only Real way to stop is to cut off all access. This means no debit cards, no credit cards , gambling blocks on phones and computers, restricted access to cash… I do not attend GA myself but from people on here I understand that meetings differ a lot so maybe try a different one ?
You will beat this you know Western. Well done on coming on here and starting a thread.. Try to join some of the groups on here and you can have live chat

Ah your name caught my attention Westerncanuck ,im assuming your from canada ,me too ,love canucks well kinda,not into sports.
Wtg on your sobriety ,sounds like you are getting good face to face support.
Welcome

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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

Why do you want to gamble? Last time I was craving (which wasn’t too long ago) I asked myself that question. At that time I was able to get only $200 online and with that amount it would be highly unlikely that I would win back thousands that I had lost in preceding weeks.
And you know what my answer to myself was? It was: I know I cannot win that money back, i know I will just lose the $200, but it will be worth it, I just want to gamble. Very scary, eh?
I wanted to gamble just for the sake of it. Even if it was going to cost me $200 for 10-20 minutes of gambling. It wasn’t about money, money was secondary, maybe even tertiary. I just wanted to lose the money for the sake of it.
I didn’t give in after realizing why I wanted to gamble. I came here and read posts and posted my own.

Why do you want to gamble? You know it’s highly unlikely that you will win the 20K back. You will lose more instead. Why do you want to gamble?

You have to find out what works for you – how to trick your brain. If you’re fighting your cravings you’re doing it wrong.

“If I were to be laid off tomorrow or next month , I would have a rough road ahead!”
These words that you wrote, hit me hard!
I am also a CG. I went back to work in 2004 after a long career break during which I reared my family. They grew up and I started gambling when my youngest was about ten or twelve years old .
Fast forward ten years…I had accumulated debt which I intended paying off by taking up my career again. I was blessed to walk back into a permanent job. I earned good money . We were experiencing a thriving boom in Ireland. The “Celtic Tiger” was bestowing loans on anyone working in a well paid job! I was on a roll! Not only could I “enjoy” spending my salary (the debt could wait) but I now had great “borrowing power”.
Long story short, The Celtic Tiger began to eat her cubs. I lost 4 years salary. Along with all I borrowed. The Recession had hit Ireland. “NO MORE LOANS” was the new motto for the banks. Public servants were “raped and plundered” by the Government to redeem what our Clever Bankers had gambled (yes, gambled) and by then I was in the deepest sh %* I could ever imagine. Half of my salary went on new taxes, levies, universal charges etc , a huge % went on debt repayment (it will take 4 MORE years)and to top it all off, my health became affected……
Moral of the story?
CIRCUMSTANCES CAN CHANGE!
Grab this chance at recovery, WC while you are in a strong position!
I’m sorry now that I dilly dallied for so long!
Al we have is NOW
Today!
Today, I did not gamble!
Who knows what tomorrow will bring!
Welcome to GT!

Hi WCanuck and welcome to the group. I will post more a little more here later but someone suggested you might want to join the group that is currently running. See you in the shortly hopefully. Just click on “support Groups” – above

Hello WCanuck,

Sorry if my english is not perfect but i’ll try my best.
What we all need to understand is that more or else we are all on the same boat. A boat that for sure is going to sink unless we do something about it. Money, relationships, dreams etc etc have all been broken. For all of us compulsive gamblers. The most important thing though is that we can rebuild everything … Money …relationships dreams ..everything..This is not going to happen through gambling. Gambling will just sink the boat. We need to change our mindset…We need to try and see how we will feel gamble free. We deserve this. Our next bet should be this one. To see how life is improving without gambling. Keep your faith. One step at a time.

I’ll be following your threat. In the meantime i wish you all the best.
Best regards

Hi WC!
Where did the last “next bet” lead you?
Do you REALLY think a CG will win?
Ever?
If we did we would be sailing a yacht in the blue seas somewhere, not scratching our heads on a Recovery Site , pondering how to get out of debt!!
Remember the “Permissions” Topic?
This is your test!
Every time I tried that “next bet” I failed with flying colours!
Change your mindset before the thought becomes an action!
Well done on posting!

There is an animated video that Harry posted, I just posted on it to bring it back to page one. It will show you what addiction really looks like. Try and watch it if you can. It really helped me see what I have been doing to myself.
The results of just one more bet or one more spree get more and more deadly.
You can choose a different life!

Hello my friend. Hope you are doing well. May I suggest something . I dont know if you have a good friend or relative you can trust . If you have someone you need to talk to them about this and give them your credit cards and all your money. This is what I do and then if I did go back I didnt blow everything . Only what I had on me at the time. I went so far as to take my retirement money all out and gave it to someone for safekeeping even though I took a big hit on the taxes. Its better to have most of it than none at all . Have a great day my friend.ODAAT.

Hello my friend. Hope you are doing well. May I suggest something . I dont know if you have a good friend or relative you can trust . If you have someone you need to talk to them about this and give them your credit cards and all your money. This is what I do and then if I did go back I didnt blow everything . Only what I had on me at the time. I went so far as to take my retirement money all out and gave it to someone for safekeeping even though I took a big hit on the taxes. Its better to have most of it than none at all . Have a great day my friend.ODAAT.