WHATS WRONG WITH ME!

Ive only been off gambling less than 48hrs,and yet today i found myself daydreaming,about 12months down the line,you just wait,i will have a bit of money,i could pay a sucessful subsription service,only bet there advice,i would clean up.AFTER ALL THE MISERY GAMBLING HAS BROUGHT TO ME,WHATS WRONG WITH ME!To still be thinking like this.Am i still in denial.After 40years of gambling i have only had 1 profitable year,that SHOULD TELL ME ENOUGH.I have missed out on hundreds of things through my addiction,and so have my families,and its not just the money side of it,all the time spent gambling could have been,having quality time with my love ones.I have got to succeed this time,at the moment i am ALONE,DOWN,DEPRESSED,but i need to fight on.friends no where to be seen,some times only paper will listen.sorry to winge,just pissed off today,Angry with myself and the world.WHEN IN TRUTH ITS ALL DOWN TO ME. Gallet it be