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    • #53727
      markxsosa
      Participant

      Hi everyone,

      I’m 20 years old, I am in university studying accounting. I used to go to the casino here and there to have some fun with friends, where I would spend max $150. This summer, a coworker introduced me to online gambling sites, telling me about how he won big. I’ve done sports betting in the past, and have won a bit of money, but I started to get into blackjack. I started off winning like crazy, I think I was up a few thousand at some points. It all came crashing down eventually, when I started to lose my own money. Thinking I could get back my initial winnings, I would keep on depositing $150 after $150, eventually adding up to a few thousand dollars. I then went broke in my checking account (haven’t touched my savings), where I used to have around $3,000.

      Just when I thought I reached my lowest point, I decided to play one last $100 to see what happens. I quickly lost that and then deposited another $50. From this initial bet, over three days, I made $40,000. I was facetiming friends, not believing what just happened. They were also shocked and told me to cash out right away. I told them that I intended to keep $20,000 and see what happens with the rest. However, I just went on a crazy losing streak, losing hand after hand after hand (and this added up quickly, because I was placing big cocky bets). I lost $36,000, the other $4,500 being already withdrawn. Then, I started playing on another site, where I deposited $1,000. Within 20 minutes, I turned it into $13,000, but then as I was ready to cash out, I decided to keep playing and lost everything. Eventually, I played through the remaining winnings. I’ve been living in this numb state for the past few days, when friends congratulate me on my crazy win, I go along with it, too embarrassed to tell them the truth. I can’t believe that I could have just cashed out, and had all that money, but I couldn’t resist playing. How do I deal with this problem I have? How can I ever get over these losses. I am in exams right now, but all I can focus on is how compulsive I was in my gambling, and how stupid I am for continuing.

      Mark

    • #53728
      Prologx
      Participant

      You must treat this as an expensive life long lesson in class. I hope you can pass this class by taking it only once. The odds are since you had big wins are slim, since you will only think about those wins and what if scenarios. Don’t fall for it, you will make the same mistake again. I been a gambler for over 15 years, I wish I taken this class just once, losing 10s of thousands of dollars. I’ve gotten a lot better, and been gambling free. If there’s one thing I could teach somebody from my experience is “One bet is NEVER enough.” Once you start gambling again, you won’t stop until you lose it all.

      Pass this class, cause it was expensive.

      Btw I am an accountant. I graduated and now make a decent living. Focus on school, it’ll be worth it. I found a new hobby other than gambling. It’s having a good time with friends and enjoying craft beers, and visiting all nice beer scenes. Cheaper than gambling and more enjoyable.

    • #53729
      Seanraj4731
      Participant

      Congrats mark you have made your first step in recognising this gambling addiction problem. You admitted the weakness and feeling of losing it all honesty. I applaud you man you got this to continue on this path of recovery. Lets focus on a new habit and new addiction a new hobby, and new activity to keep your mind away from gambling. I am on my 9th day free of gambling. My focus is on saving and investing the hard earn money that i made to secure a better life for my son. I was a roulette gambler for the past 5 years lost over 400k and i am now focusing on moving forward. Keep on journaling on this forum on your progress day by day. You gonna see your best life now free of this habit. I encourage you to keep a positive mind of your life. Knowing how destructive this habit is and the dark hole it can lead an individual to with mounted debts and the lies he/she may find them selves doing. My mantra i use to really keep away from those roulette machines is: ” Why Do Something Over & Over Expecting a Different Result” Keep this in mind and i urge you to discover your self worth and renew your mind to upliftment on this website and you can view videos on youtube by Soldiers of Self Mastery Santos Rolon Jr.

      Thank you for sharing. We are here for you.be positive and stay positive always.

    • #53730
      markxsosa
      Participant

      Hi Prologx,

      I totally agree. I got caught up in my crazy win streak, thinking it would go on forever, when I should have been focusing on my classes. From now on, I just have to stick to making money in a clean way through my jobs. I need to find a hobby to replace blackjack with!

      Thank you for your kind words.

    • #53731
      markxsosa
      Participant

      Hi Seanraj4731,

      While the gambling felt like fun when I was winning, I’ve lost hours of sleep thinking about what could have been. I have to find a new hobby to get my mind off my losses and potential winnings, in order to stay positive. It’s just so weird, because even though on the $150, I still cashed out $4.5k, I still feel like a dummy for blowing through $30k in winnings in a few hours. Just goes to show how destructive this habit is- even when you win, you end up being upset. Looking forward to sharing my journey moving away from gambling.

    • #53732
      velvet
      Moderator

      Hello Mark and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

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