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#17852
kwbwmom
Participante

Oh Bettie… How I can relate. It’s funny in a weird way. Before this whole mess of divorce came up I never noticed "couples." Now they are everywhere I look. I even find myself looking at people’s ring finger and feel relief when I see someone who is not wearing a wedding ring. My intellectual mind tells me that I’m being flat out crazy. But my emotional mind thinks it is perfectly OK. Stupid emotional mind… sometimes I wish it would go away, but then I’d not be me. This is going to be a tough year for me for Christmas too. But something that helps put it in perspective for me is that 2 years ago I spent Christmas in the ICU ward with my mother. We were not sure if she was going to make it. She did thankfully and now I am trying to remember what Christmas is all about . FAMILY. That stuff on TV is definitely maddening to see. If only life was really a Norman Rockwell painting. But this year I am going to focus on my health. The gift I have given to myself, being gamble free, joining GA, being here on GT. My Christmas gift to me and really to my family was that I self banned from all the casinos. I’ve set blockers in place so that I can get on to the start the process of healing. I not good at alone time, never have been. What addict is. But this quiet time is giving me a chance to breathe for the first time in a long time.
As always your support is wonderful. And here’s to a good day!"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."