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#156370
jvr3419
Participant

Hey darkenergy thanks for your comment. I feel that frustration when you described the company’s. Unfortunately the whole world is like that at the end of the day. Everybody and every company is just trying to make a buck. How they do it isn’t always right but we also get the choice of what we do with our cash to. I think that’s why I’ve reached that acceptance and surrender part. I can be hurt,angry, and every emotion that comes with the fact that I gambled my life away but I have to be the one to acknowledge that I did that. The casinos may pray on the vulnerable but I didnt have to do it either. I made that choice and got addicted so the only person I should be pissed at is myself. But I’ve forgiven myself to some degree to in order to not fall trap to self pitty and anger anymore. I have my days where I’m sad and depressed to shit because I ended up addicted to something again. But I also realize im a human that was in alot of pain and made a huge life altering mistake but I get to come out better on the other side. Having this addiction forced me to heal things about myself that I never wanted to. It forced me to let go of control, and surrender so that I can be more understanding and have a sense of peace for once in my life. At the end of the day we all just want to feel safe and secure in life.