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Hi Melpitt, I hope you post agin on the site. I see a bunch of people who come on here. Post and then are gone. Don’t be one of those people. You seem smart. There is no one that will be able to stop you besides the person you see in the mirror everyday. You need to put barriers in place until you can take back over your finances. You can’t hold onto money for the time being. You need like 3-6 months not having any additional money. Do you have anyone that can help you with your finances?
Also – It seems a little like you’re saying that you can’t stop because you can’t relate to the help that’s out there. That’s the gambler talking. The gambler doesn’t want help. The gambler resists help… You are chasing the rush. Remember that. Not the money.