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Hi Colleen
I am sorry that you are feeling that way right now but it will change.  Keep thinking the future will get better, right now you are at the bottom and the only way from here is up!  You will feel better as your gamble free days add up, the longer you are away from gambling the better you will feel.  Keep coming here and using the support, try to find a GA meeting close to you and go once a week and keep using this site.  Try group chats and go on the one on one line.  There is hope Colleen you can do this.  You just need to put all the barriers in place to let you start working at being gamble free.  Dont carry money on you or cards, ban where you can and keep working at this recovery like you worked at gambling.. be consistent, no matter how you feel.. hope to see you soon and congratulations on your day 2
 P – Living and Learning