Thanks Carole… Im amazed at the facade i can put on.. Its funny people often say to me people know when you are ****** it when i say i can mask my pain well but i really can. I have learnt from a young age to mask negative emotions or feelings. In a way its good it allows me to get through the days, still get through work and get complimented for it, and the affect on family is they think everything is ok which isnt a bad thing. Why should anyone else suffer but inside i am suffering badly. I do have hope of recovery, there is hope where i almost felt none. One baby step at a time and i know i will get stronger and life will improve. I need patience to get through the days. I want my life fixed now and i want to move on. There are still positives.. there has been a massive shift in my thinking. Though i still feel the devastation and guilt and have to suffer the financial consequences and sleepless nights. Things have dramatically changed in the way i look at recovery. I see the possibility of it happening for me. I see that i can now have a life. I feel like this time i am going to make it. Or ive gone completely insane.
P
